


Love And Betrayal (Negan X Reader)

by may_xoxo



Category: Negan - Fandom, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Jealous Negan (Walking Dead), Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Negan (Walking Dead) is an automatic warning, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Sexual Assault, Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Smut, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 19:37:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 31
Words: 25,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/may_xoxo/pseuds/may_xoxo
Summary: A story of Negan and Rick's daughter*CONTAINS: SWEARING, VIOLENCE, SEXUAL ASSAULT,  AND SMUT*follow me on wattpad @MaeDixon





	1. No Exceptions

There I was on my knees alongside my longtime friends and somewhat distant father; he hasn't been the same since my mother died and our relationship has suffered as a result but none of that matters anymore.  
As the gravel beneath me tore at my skin, I sat there shivering and petrified of what my fate would be. Just as my mind began to go over all the possible scenarios the opening and shutting of the RV door in front of me interrupts my racing thoughts.  
A man wielding a bat wrapped in barbed wire steps out.  
He is different, something about his aura speaks to me warning me of the threat that he could pose and the underlying evil to his charm. As he approaches us my eyes scan up his body onto his mischievous smile.  
"That smile", I think to myself, "this man is the devil incarnate".  
I slide closer to my father, my shaking hand gripping his.  
"Hi, you're Rick, right? I'm Negan". We both look up to him as he continues to speak.  
"I do not appreciate you killing my men also when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people you killed more of my people not cool. Not fucking cool. You have no fucking idea of how not cool that shit is but I think you're going to be up to speed here shortly."

He pauses and looks at me, his eyes piercing my soul. "So you're Rick's daughter?"

"Y-yes", I whisper in response

"Interesting..." he says looking over to my father. "What's your name then, Angel?"

"Y/N" I answer hesitantly.

"That's very-" before he could finish his sentence Daryl lunges through the air delivering one hard punch to his face.

"No! Don't hurt him"

I cry out as he is wrestled to the ground by Negan's men. A blond-haired man holds a crossbow to Daryl's face as the other has him in a chokehold.

"Do you want me to do it?" the blond man asks Negan.  
Before he replies, he looks at me, tears streaming down my face, "no" he says with a smile "line him back up".

"That is a no-no the whole thing, not one bit of that shit flies here. So now I'm going to beat the holy fuck out of one of you, but first I'm going to finish talking to Rick's daughter".  
Still crying I look at Daryl the fear is written all over my face. "Look at me, baby" he speaks as I stay locking eyes with Daryl.  
"Hey, I'm talking to you" his hand cups my chin.  
"Listen when I speak to you" he demands in an obnoxious tone.

"Please leave her alone" Rick begs as Negan inches closer to me. "Why? She's a big girl, Rick. She wants me to leave her alone, she can ask." Everyone's eyes dart to me awaiting my reaction.

"Do you want me to leave you alone, angel?" He asks now bending down to me at eye level. I shake my head fearing what he is capable of.  
"See Rick, your little girl is fine" I lower my eyes in shame as he backs away from me, readdressing the group.

"Anyways, I already told you people, first one's free then I will shut that shit down, no exceptions!"

He pauses creating a menacing silence. "Back to it", he swings crushing Glenn's skull with his bat. Everyone screams in horror as Negan unmercifully murders our comrade right before our eyes.

I look away unable to process the sight of one of my best friend's body being brutalized. The fear of death takes over my body, this is a fight or flight moment and my body decided that flight was the only option. Without thinking, I spring on to my feet and make a run for it in the opposite direction.

"Get her" Negan orders, and before I even make it past the RV I am tackled to the ground by the same guy that was going to kill Daryl. I lay there with his knees digging into my back, crying hysterically with my face in the dirt. Negan walks up chuckling waving his bat.  
"Did you really think that was going to work, sweetheart?"

My father yells in the background "please don't kill my daughter, she was just scared."

Looking back at him Negan responds "Oh, I'm not going to kill my precious little bargaining chip. Put her in the RV, Dwight". I don't even try to fight back as he drags me through the dirt, hearing my father beg for him not to take me.


	2. Long Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan comforts the reader in his RV.

The hum of the air conditioning is almost loud enough to cover the sounds of the tears escaping my eyes. I sit in the corner farthest from the door fearing the moment when Negan would come through it.

Though I hate being in this hell-hole at least it's given me time to think. That man, Negan, the thought of him makes me sick. He is so ruthless, so vile, I can't understand how he could do that to another human being. And why does he want to speak with me? My father is the leader, he knows way more than I ever could. Lost in my own head, I hear a voice approaching the door.

"All right I'll be back in a sec"  
" It's him" I whimper. The door flings open,   
"Honey I'm home!" He says sarcastically. 'Where are you, babe?" His eyes searches the room until he spots me sitting in the corner.  
"There you are! I thought you escaped and I was going to have to smash your daddy's head in". He jokes as he sits down next to me. Head buried in my lap, I can't even look at him.

"I'm sorry for what I did out there but you have to understand, you killed some of my men."  
"I didn't kill anybody," I manage to mumble through my tears.   
"I mean your friends" he explains in an oddly comforting tone, rubbing his hand up and down my back. I don't pull away, something about his touch feels calming.

"I want to leave" I lift my head and speak more firmly than I had that entire night. We sit there in silence staring face-to-face until he responds, "Okay I won't force you to stay here." Relieved, I begin to stand but before I could he grabs my arm. "Soon"  
"What?" I asks blatantly confused. "Well unless you want to try to find your way home in the dark" he mocks.

The stupid grin he gives me is enough to send me over the edge, I snatch away from him and scold him, "Where is my family?". He doesn't hesitate to answer  
"Whoa calm down baby, you actin' like a big girl now?" He chuckles "Their long gone honey, collecting my shit, we'll see them in the next coming days".

The feeling of complete disbelief takes over me,  
"They would never leave me...he would never leave me"   
I fall back to the floor weeping. The short-lived tough girl act crumbles and the real me resurfaces, weak and vulnerable. Negan still sitting there, wraps his arms around me,   
"They did, and Rick didn't even seem worried about you"  
"What about Daryl?" I sniffle.  
Negan shakes his head, "He didn't put up much of a fight."

I say nothing in return, as I sit there crying in the arms of the man who just murdered my friend.


	3. You'll Always Have Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader awakes in Negan's RV, the morning after the lineup.

I am awakened by the sunlight shining in my eyes through the window. Still, on the floor, I lift my head, looking around the room to find Negan sound asleep on the couch. I slowly bring myself to my feet, back aching from the hard floor and began to stretch. Carefully as not to disturb him, I tiptoe to the window, my curious eyes peak between the blinds. There is no sign of my family, only a few trucks. The scenery is peaceful as the sun rises, everyone will be up soon. The idea of escape crosses my mind, but I quickly dismiss the idea. I hate to admit, but staying here is probably my safest option. I have no idea the way to Alexandria and no weapons, I'm easily walker bait.

I stand there and ponder, did I really cuddle with that devilish man. The last thing I remember is crying in Negan's arms; I must have fallen asleep there. The thought brings me back to the emotions I felt at that moment, it is unexplainable, a rush of fear and reassurance all at the same time. A part of me longs for that feeling again. No, what am I thinking? I snap out on my delusional trance; I need to get home I have a family and Negan isn't going to make me forget them. I wonder if the stuff he was saying is true, did Daryl not fight for me? Did my dad really choose to leave me? I don't know what to believe.

"What are you thinking about, angel?" I hear a voice from behind me.

I don't turn around, chills run down my spine as I hear Negan's footsteps creep towards me. He throws his arms around my waist. "What are you doing", I spin around, recoiling from his touch, "I just want to hold you some more." He whispers, leaning towards me. I turn back around, eyes closed, facing the window in an attempt to avoid reality. "We have to talk about that running situation, I didn't want to say anything before because you were already hysterical but you need to know that if that happens again I'll have to teach you a lesson." I open my eyes, the vivid memory of Glenn's corpse flashes through my brain. "You monster," I say under my breath. "What was that? You're gonna have to speak up." I turn to face him but by then he's all the way across the room standing by the door. "Are you coming or not?" he says with his arm motioning me out.

I cautiously approach him, following closely behind, looking down as we walk, I see the bat swinging in his hand. He smashes it against the front of the RV, "everybody up, you lazy assholes". His men all sleeping in their trucks thrust out of their slumber and report front and center on their knees kneeling before him. "Who are you?" he shouts to the ensemble. "I am Negan" they reply back. I stand there silently behind him, watching him interact with his obedient servants, it is like being in the Twilight Zone. Is he so conceited that this is what he makes his followers refer to themselves as? Everything is a drastic contrast between how my father ran things. After Negan delivers his swearing filled speech, the men begin to load into their trucks.

"Come on, we're leaving." He grabs my arm and leads me back to the RV, shutting the door behind me.  
I pause, waiting for him to make the next move.  
"Are you just going to stand there? Go sit down" he gestures to the couch. I sit on the far end, hands in my lap, my eyes gaze at my feet. I hear as he opens the fridge and pulls something from it. "You want a drink?" He asks waving the alcohol in front of my face. I shake my head, "I don't drink that type of stuff." "Why not?" he acquires now sitting next to me."My dad-," I hesitate. His eyes widen, "So you hate him just as much as I do?" It is obvious he is enjoying this. "I don't hate him", a tear begins to roll down my cheek.  
"That's not what it seemed like yesterday", he nudges at my side. Glaring, I go from helplessness to defensiveness,

"What do you mean?"

"You seem to be more upset that Daryl didn't save you as opposed to the fact that Rick left you." He grins knowing that he was on to something.

I inhale and exhale deeply, "It's just that, my dad, he preaches about putting the group before individuals, even me, I learned not to be reliant on him. But Daryl, he was always the one I could count on."Well, that's sad as shit! At least you'll always have me" he says in a disturbingly cheerfully manner as I sit silently. "Anyways, let's get going." He waves for one of his men to start the ignition. "To where?" I hope that we are heading to Alexandria. "You'll see when we get there" he turns away from me, still holding that damn bat in his hand.


	4. Home, Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and the reader arrive at the Sanctuary.

"Home sweet home" he slams open the door. "What is this place?" I ask looking at the shabby factory-like building. "The sanctuary, honey!" Still confused, he further explains. "It's the headquarters of the God damn saviors!" I guess this means I'm not going home anytime soon.

"We'll get your stuff when we go get the rest of our shit." He says as we walk to the entrance. I grab his forearm causing him to pause mid-stride "What do you mean, 'get my stuff'? I'm staying here?"

"That's the plan, angel" he resumes walking, dragging me along.

"I-I can't stay here, my family-" he interrupts me, "Your family who didn't give a shit and gave you up?" My head drops and I cross my arms. Although I don't know whether he is shitting me or not, what I do know is that I'm alone and my family left without me.

"And here's your room, or should I say our room" the door flings open, revealing the luxurious black and gray decor. It is nice, a sharp contrast to what I expected. It actually has a comforting essence about it. I glance at the bed, king-sized. He is definitely betting that I'm going to share that bed with him.

"Relax, your home now" taking off his shoes he looks at me still standing by the door. "So you haven't accepted it yet?" He chuckles. "Resisting the process isn't going to make any of this easier, you're gonna to have to face the fact that this is your new life now". I can tell by his tone that he is getting agitated. I pass him sitting on the couch, to look out the window. Just as tears begin to form in my eyes, I see something that gives me a glimmer of hope.

"It's Daryl" whispering out of earshot. I turn around with my regained hopefulness, "What is he doing here?"

"Who, babe?" he stands and walks towards me, I point out the window.  
"Oh him, I thought he would be a good addition to the team" the optimism is sucked back out of my spirit when I see his vindictive smirk."I'm going to break him, I can't fucking wait"

"Don't" I plea, looking up to him. "You're not going to change my mind sweetheart not even with those adorable puppy eyes" he places his arm around me turning me away from the window. "Now, where were we" he picks me up and gently sits me on the bed.

Strangely I didn't struggle, I didn't cry, I just sit intuitively watching him remove his leather jacket and shirt. I never noticed how toned his body is until now, without thinking I reach and touch his masculine chest, my breathing becoming more rapid. Distracted by his mesmerizing physique he begins lifting my shirt up and over my head. I hear him let out a moan, as lust fills his eyes he gropes and stares at my breast through my bra. "I want you" he greedily whispers into my ear. It is enough to turn me on, "then take me" I beg softly. He pushes me further on to the bed as he slides down my shorts.

In between my legs now, he starts by licking my pussy through my panties. I lose all control and moan as his tongue dances across my clit. He stops for a moment, I whine looking down at him, "You're not to wear these anymore" he says as he rips my panties. Without a chance to breathe, he goes to work licking me out. I whimper and plea "Don't stop" holding his head in between my thighs. He growls "You like me eating this cunt?" I can't answer. The sensation of his tongue sliding in and out of my pussy sends me over the edge "I'm going to cum" I scream but before I could he gets up and takes off his pants and boxers. He lines the head of his cock up to my entrance and roughly thrusts, fucking me against the headboard. "Your tight babe....so fucking tight" he whimpers running his fingers through my hair. Already close to climax I pull him deeper inside, he asks me "Do you want me to pull out?" Against my better judgment, I shake my head and as he sucks on my nipples, we both explode, our juices mixing together.

When our breathing returns to normal he rolls off me and instantly falls asleep, I crawl onto his chest and doze off.


	5. Alexandria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and the reader return to Alexandria.

I open my eyes. The sunlight bathes my skin as I lay on my side. I try closing my eyes. What had happened earlier was something I didn't want to deal with right now.

"Wake up, sweetheart" he whispers into my ear, rubbing his hand up my leg. I turn to face him, still naked, "You can't tell him".

He smirks "Who? Your daddy or Daryl?"

I get off the bed, rushing to put my clothes on. "Neither, it was a mistake" I glare at him still lying in the bed.

"Well, I can't make any promises" he stands, walking towards the bathroom. "I would love to see Rick's face when he realizes how much of a whore his little girl is!"

I never felt so much shame in my life. And the worse part is that I know I can't trust him. His only objective for bringing me here is for leverage against my father.

He walks out of the bathroom fully dressed, "Oh and by the way, we're going to Alexandria today"

My face lights up, he chuckles, picking up his bat "Come on, the boys should be ready by now"

I follow him through the building, looking into all the rooms as we pass, as he leads me outside. I watch Negan's men pack up their guns and ammunition. Though I'm happy to be seeing my family, I'm worried about what might happen. I look to Negan, "You're not going to hurt them, are you?" My eyes plead to him.

"Only if they put up a fight," he chuckles, helping me into his truck.

"Okay, time to get this show on the road" he starts the engine, and we're our way to Alexandria. I spent the entire trip looking out the window contemplating whether I should come clean about what happened between me and Negan. I knew eventually he would tell them, but I want to be the one they hear it from first. As we reach the gates of my once home, they are waiting for us, my heart begins beating through my chest.

We get out the truck, Negan holding his bat over his shoulder. "You ever hear the one about the stupid little prick named Rick who thought he knew shit but didn't know shit and got everyone that he gave a shit about killed, it's about you"

This is what I was worried about my dad is stubborn, and he isn't going to surrender to Negan easily.

"Y'all gonna want to put your guns down"

I make eye contact with my dad, but he doesn't converse with me. How could he ignore me like that? Our relationship must be in worst condition than I thought.

He adverts his attention back to Negan "No one drops anything, we had a deal"

I can't help it anymore I interject, "Just do what he says, please". He finally acknowledges me, "Stay out of this". There is a moment of awkward silence before Negan continues. "You push me, and you push me, and you push me, Rick." He turns to me "Do you know your daddy tried to blow us up?"

I can't believe what I am hearing but I can tell by the expression on his face that he is being truthful. I look up one last time at my dad, tears rolling down my cheeks, I don't speak, I have no words to describe the hurt I am enduring. Not only do I have to deal with the shame of sleeping with Negan but now I also have to deal with the fact that my father was willing to kill me in order to stop Negan.

"I get me, my people, but Y/N? She's one of yours." Negan wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him.

"I brought her so I wouldn't have to kill all of you and not killing all of you could get complicated, see I know there's a lot of firepower left in there, Rick" he waves his bat "I want all the guns you manage to scrape up, or she dies".


	6. Cooperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick gives in to Negan's demands.

"I want all the guns you manage to scrape up, or she dies." I try to snatch away, but he tightens his grip causing me to cry out. Fear takes hold of Rick,  
"Okay, Let her go, you can have whatever you want!"  
Everyone watches in shock but trusting Rick's judgment the Alexandrians lower their weapon, and they open the gate. "See, I knew that you would cooperate," Negan snickers and let's go of me, I fall to the ground scraping my knee.

"Easy peasy lemon squeezy.... all right, everybody let's get started" his men push into Alexandria, raiding every home. It infuriates me to see my family being abused and taken advantage of. Completely ignoring my injury, I get off the ground and run to my 'used to be' house. Luckily I get there before anyone else could. I hurry to pack my clothes and sneak food out of the kitchen, I already have the plan in my head, I'm going to leave before anyone notices. I escape out of the back after grabbing my father's pistol from the closet.

I attempt to get past Negan while he is busy antagonizing my dad, but he spots me heading towards the gate. "Oh, hey Y/N, come here" He waves to me. Not wanting him to catch on to my plan, I walk over. "Don't you and your daddy have some catching up to do?" I look at my dad seeing the defeat in his eyes. I hope Negan doesn't want me to tell him what happened between us. "Come on, baby, you know what I'm talking about" he nudges me, smiling. I stay silent, staring at the ground.

The defeat in Rick's eyes turns into worry.

He lifts my chin and whispers "Nevermind, I'll let you tell him when you're ready" letting my face go, My eyes direct back to my dad and I get this feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I jump into his arms; he embraces me, telling me how sorry he is for everything. Tears wet my cheeks as the warmth of his arms snuggle me.

I suddenly have a change of heart about running away, I look back "Can I stay?.... Please." Swinging his bat, "You know, that can't happen" his voice taking a bone-chilling tone. Still, in my dad's arms, he tugs on the back of my shirt, "That's enough, come on" but I disregard his demand. Negan begins seeing red; he hates the fact that I still love my father and that he hasn't fully turned me. He grabs my arm forcing us apart, "I'm serious, do you want me to prove how serious, again?".

"Fine!" I reply brattily.

"Well, then go get your ass back in the truck, we're leaving!" he shouts in a way that I had never heard him speak before. It shocks me to my core; I know I have to do what he says, or he is going to make my father pay for it.  
Motioning for Dwight, he orders him to take me to the truck and keep an eye on me. I go peacefully not wanting to cause a worse situation then I'm already in.  
As he walks me back to the gate, I keep looking back at my father.

We reach the door of the vehicle; he pushes me in following behind me. "You need to start listening to him" he glares at me annoyed. I stare out the window trying to block him out. "You're just gonna make it harder on yourself", he grasped my hand to get my attention. I pull away from him, "Don't touch me! Leave, I want to be left alone". He asserts himself, "Whatever, but know that I don't take orders from you". Holding back his frustrations he gets out and stands outside.

"Finally by myself!" I shout loudly, so he could hear me.

He rolls his eyes and ignores me.

Just as I begin to relax, I see Negan and the rest of the men coming in the distance. I watch as they load all of my family's and the rest of Alexandria's stuff into their trucks. They stole so much food I am worried about how everyone I came to love is going to survive. Tears slowly run down my cheek, but I wipe them, not wanting Negan to have the satisfaction of seeing me cry once again. He opens the door of the driver's side and sits his bat beside him not so much as glancing at me.  
He starts the engine, and we begin our journey back to the Sanctuary.


	7. Snapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader sees the more aggressive side of Negan.

"What's up with you?" I tease him in my usual bratty tone that he hates. Negan remains mute and expressionless. Abandoning hope of getting his attention, I watch as the familiar scenery passed. Suddenly he snaps, "Do you like fucking embarrassing me!" his face became distorted, but his head doesn't move.

"What's embarrassing about me reconciling with my dad?" I ask genuinely perplexed.

He finally looks at me, "When I said that you were mine, I meant it!" he growls enraged grabbing a chunk of my hair, one hand still on the wheel. "Things are going to be different from now on, no more special fucking treatment" he releases his grasp, returning to a stoic state.

Moments pass as we approach the Sanctuary. He gets out slamming the door behind him, walking over to my side. He pulls me out, and I hit the same knee that I had scrapped earlier. I cry out, holding my leg.

"Dwight, get her up and put her in a cell, away from Daryl" his eyes glowing with vengeance. Doing as he's told, Dwight grabs my forearm and yanks me up to my feet."Okay, I'm coming" I squealed. I follow behind him as he leads me to a literal hell hole. My heart begins to ache, realizing that this is what Daryl has had to endure this whole time, not knowing what Negan had in store for him.

"Here we are!" he smirks pushing me into the dirty dark cell and locking the door.

It is just me and my thoughts. I serious am regretting showing love to my father in front of Negan. No matter how well he treated me in the beginning, he's a monster and always has been. Now, all I am is woeful in my lonesome. I bawl my eyes out as the hours tick by until I hear the cell door crack open.

"Hey there" I look up to see the silhouette of an unknown man. The shadowy figure continues, "You okay?". My eyes bloodshot red, I shake my head. He steps farther into the cell, now giving me a clearer view of his face. "I'm David, I wonder if you remember me from earlier, Do you?"

I shake my head again.

"Well, I can forgive that, it was a shit storm at Alexandria. I was one of the guys that collected the guns".Reminiscent thoughts flood my head. I brake eye contact, lowering my eyes, but he gently grabs my chin lifting my head up, "Wow, you're pretty" he swoons. I slowly scooch away from him. He stands up, looks outside the door then shuts it. Panic-stricken, I back myself into a corner, "Do you want to see Daryl?" he tries to negotiate with me.

I sniffle "Yes".

"Fine, but it's not something I'm supposed to do," he reaches over and rubs his hand up and down my arm. "So you have to do something you're not supposed to do, will you?" scared stiff, I don't reply.

He anxiously crawls towards me and forces his hand under my shirt. I shriek, fighting off his invasive traveling fingers, I make a run for the door, but he tackles me to the ground. "Fighting is just going to make it last longer, which for the record, its fine by me". His hard erection presses into my ass, he starts undoing his belt. I beg for help, but my pleas fall on deaf ears through the soundproof walls, When his pants gave way, he tugs down my shorts and panties, threatening to choke me if I resist.

He enters me from behind, holding on to my hips like handlebars. My screams grow louder as he steadily increases speed. "Please, you're hurting me" I weep, he throws his hand over my mouth, muffling my cries. As he approaches climax, he pulls out and cums on my ass. Groaning and moaning from pleasure he stands and dresses. Still lying on the floor he comes and pulls my shorts up, as I whimper in agony."You tell anybody, and I'll come back and strangle the life out of you" he opens and closes the door.


	8. Easy Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is assaulted in her cell.

I wake up to the taste of blood and my face aching from the cold concrete floor. I open my eyes, red and puffy, and stare at the ceiling. My thoughts clouded with denial and shame. I can't cry anymore, I have no tears left to shed.

🎶We're on easy street, and it feels so sweet. 'Cause the world is 'bout a treat when you're on easy street🎶

You have to be fucking kidding me, I bang my head against the wall. Please god, kill me, I have no worth in this world. I'm such an idiot for ever trusting Negan. I keep having flashbacks to last night, it makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn. "I just want to go home" I whisper to myself quivering.

🎶Oh easy street, yeah, we got a front-row seat, oh, to a life that can't be-🎶

The music suddenly stops, and the door creeps open. My heart skips a beat at the sound. I look up and to my dismay, it's Dwight. He lays down a plate beside me, "eat" he points at the sandwich. I don't make eye contact, I stare blankly past him. "Hey, I'm talking to you" he squats down, waving his hand in my face. I didn't even blink, so he takes a closer look at me then stands back up and leaves.

"Sir, we have a problem" Dwight calls to Negan knocking on his bedroom door. "You can come in"

He opens the door to find Negan sitting with Carl after he had just killed two saviors. "So what's happening?" inquiring about the situation. Negan redirects his attention. "It's about the girl" he hesitates. Negan glances back at Carl, "Seems like your sister is nothing but trouble" he chuckles. "She's different like she's hurt or something" his voice shutters. Carl jumps up, "Where is she?" Negan sighs, "Come on kid, let's go check on her." He shows Carl the way, Dwight following closely behind. Negan unlocks the door, and they all watch as I sit motionlessly. Carl bends down and tries to hug me, but I flinch away. Negan interrupts, "What's up with you? Dwight said you were acting strange". I don't respond or look up to acknowledge either of them. The situation begins to weigh heavy on Carl's chest, "What did you do to her?" he begins to tear up, shouting at Negan. "Shit, I don't know kid, she hasn't even been in here a full twenty-four hours yet" he scoffs almost as if he sees me as pathetic. Carl tries to raise my spirits by telling me how much everyone at Alexandria loves and misses me, but it fails to provoke any emotion in me.

He scans my body, "She has bruises on her arms". Negan's tone once sarcastic now turns vicious. "What the fuck happened, Dwight?" he pushes him to the wall. "I don't know sir, I didn't know she was still in here till this morning". At that moment a light bulb goes off in Negan's head, "Go get David!"

"Yes sir" Dwight rushes to retrieve him

Negan steps closer and examines my bruises then he turns to Carl, "We're going to have to cut this visit short. I'll get some of my men to take you back home." "I'm not leaving her" Carl proudly proclaims. "I don't have time for this kid" right before Negan is about to scold him. Dwight appears with David. "So David, you roughed her up?" he glares into his soul.

"Um-no sir, if I did hit her it was in self-defense" he assures him. "Dwight, get a crew together and take the kid back to Alexandria". "Yes sir," he grabs Carl's arm, "let's go".

Negan shuts the cell door, with all three of us inside. His eyes travel back and forth between David and me, "No one is leaving til we get to the bottom of this." Fearful of Negan's wrath, David lies, "She went crazy when I came to give her food, so I wrestled her to the ground." Hearing his voice again makes my body tense and tears roll down my face. Negan looks down at me and asks "Is this true?" his tone sounding rather unconvinced. I look up and nod my head in agreement. Not knowing any other option, He opens the door and lets David go. "And for you, You're coming back with me" I don't struggle as he lifts me into his arms and carries me out of the cell.


	9. Good Graces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader meets Negan's wives.

The sound of his boots ricochets off the walls as we approach his bedroom. "Welcome back!" he gently sits me on the bed. My eyes fiercely stare him down, as he goes to sit next to me, "Have you learned your lesson?" his voice echoes.

"Yeah" I reply with no emotion to my tone.

"Well, Congratulations, you're back in my good graces." he stretches out his arms in an attempt to hug me.

Ignoring his gesture, I lean over and cover myself with the sheets. He looks at me, then rolls his eyes, "I'll see you later, I got shit to do" he gets up and walks out the door. I watch him as he leaves, making me remember that I need to find Daryl, he was always the person I went to for comfort in situations like this. Just as my feet touch the floor, there's a knock at the door."Come in," I say in a shy timid voice, not knowing who it could be. The door opens and walks in a woman in heels and a sleek black dress. We both look at each other in confusion, her face becomes irate. She grits her teeth, "Who the fuck are you?". I stand up defensively, " I'm Y/N, and you?

"Amber, one of Negan's actual wives" she retreats, slamming the door.

He has wives? I sit down trying to process the information. Finding Daryl goes to the back of my mind, and Negan's supposed wives occupies my immediate thoughts. I open the door, peaking to see if the coast was clear, I tiptoe out gently closing the door back. I wander through the hallways searching aimlessly for clues of where they might be until suddenly I hear laughter and the sound of a T.V. I go to investigate, as I get closer I can make out voices, they sound like women. Creeping towards the room looking through the space between the door and frame, I could only see two of the women but I could tell by the number of voices there was at least 4 of them. Those must be his wives, I guess I should introduce myself. I step into the room, they all turn and look at me. "See!" the woman that I had just met points at me."She's who I found in Negan's bed!"

Shock and disgust cover their faces, and the tension in the room intensifies. "I'm Y/N" I announce awkwardly. For a moment none spoke, they exchange looks. Amber brakes the silence, "So, where are you from?". It is written all over her face that she doesn't want me here. I answer shortly "Alexandria". Her jaw drops realizing that she heard of me, "You're that whore, Dwight warned us about!" She begins walking towards me. The red-haired girl gets up and pulls amber back, "Don't do anything stupid" warning her. The other two girls still sitting whispers at each other. The redhead motions to the door, "I think you should leave" she sounds as if she hates my guts. I nod my head and leave them to their gossip.

I continue through the halls, I hear a voice coming from behind, "Hey, where are you going?" my neck snaps back to see a man I hadn't met before, "Um, just looking around" I utter nervously. He proceeds towards me and goes in for a handshake. "I'm Joey, by the way", I smile at him not knowing what to say, I'm sure he already knows who I am. "Want to get something to eat?" looking up and down his overweight body, it confuses me why Negan would even keep him around.

My eyes met back with his, "Sure" I agree. "Cool, right this way" he leads me to a large room filled with people and supplies. I notice there is a line, but Joey doesn't seem to pay any mind to it. "You can take whatever you want" he boasts, taking a bite out of a sandwich. Not wanting to be rude I only take an apple then I step out of the way. I observe as another savior speaks to him. I watch his face go from prideful to cowardly. I couldn't hear much other than the fact that the guy called him, 'fat joey', only because he said it loud enough for the entire room to start taking interest.

Joey walks up to me, after being humiliated, "I have to get back to work". Scared of being left alone, I grab his hand, "Please stay, just for a little bit" giving him the same puppy eyes that I used on Negan. His face turns bright red, "Uh, okay" he stutters. "Take me somewhere else" I smile letting go of his hand. He pauses to think, "We could go and feed the walkers". My eyes widen "Don't worry there locked behind a gate" he reassures me, "I promise it'll be fun". I'm skeptical but I give in to curiosity.

We leave the crowded area and reach a more peaceful part of the Sanctuary. I deiced to confront him before we reach the exit to the outside. I stand in front of him, stopping him from moving forward, "Why do they call you fat joey", he looks down at his body, "Isn't it obvious". My hand creases his chubby face, "You shouldn't let them talk to you like that". He sighs, "Come on, we have to hurry". He brushes past me, but I catch up beside him. "So, what do you feed them?" I ask trying to change the subject. Before he can answer, a man calls from a distance "Is that you, fat joey?". I could see the dread on his face, he whispers to me "it's Simon"


	10. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tells Negan about her assault.

"What the fuck are you doing with her?" Simon scolds Joey, staring him down. "If Negan had found Y'all, he would be losing his shit!" I jump in between them, "Please, don't tell him, Joey was just showing me around."

"Oh, I'm not telling him anything" he snatches a hold of me, "You two are".

He pulls me down the hallway, Joey following behind. "Let go of me!" I struggle to try to take back my arm, but he tightens his grip.

We stop at a big metal door, "Here we are", he opens it. Negan, Dwight, and two other saviors are sitting at a conference table. "I found these two wandering around" he lets me go. Negan stands up, holding on to Lucile and points it directly at Joey's head, "Don't you have work you should be doing?"

"Y-yes sir, I was-" he gets cut off

"You were fucking around with Y/N". Joey's head hangs in shame and embarrassment, "I'm sorry" he mumbles. "So, where were you taking her?" Negan walks over to me putting his arm over my neck. Joey stutters hesitating to respond, "T-to see the walkers at the front gate". Negan looks at me, "Was this your idea or his?" I swallow the spit in my mouth, "It was his, but-", he interrupts and berates Joey,"You dumb motherfucker!" he slams Lucile into the table. And gets in his face, "If you so much as look at her again, the only person you'll be flirting with will be Lucile". Simon glares at me and smirks, "Now, get the fuck out of here and go do your fucking job!" Joey rushes out of the door, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry, I should have stayed in the room" I try apologizing, Negan kisses me then whispers into my ear, "We'll talk about this later". He goes to sit back down, "Simon, take her back",

"Yes, Sir" I follow him out.

The entire walk back he didn't say anything to me, but it was painfully obvious that he was proud of himself. We arrive at Negan's room, before leaving he decides to harass me about what I was doing with Joey.

"Fat joey? Really" he chuckles vindictively.

I cross my arms aggravated, "What are you talking about?"

"You cheated on Negan with him? I could see maybe skinny joey but not that obese sack of shit!" he laughs, poking fun at me

"I didn't cheat, we were only talking" I can't believe I'm having to explain this, "And f.y.i. me and Negan aren't together!" he completely ignores me and continues laughing. "Whatever at least I'm not a mindless minion like you!" His face goes abruptly still, "Don't fucking talking to me like that" he leaves, slamming the door shut.

God, that guy really pisses me off, he has it out for me for no reason.

To forget all the bullshit he put me through I decide to take a much-needed shower, taking off my dirty clothes and turning the water on. I open the bottle of shampoo sitting on the corner, squeezing a handful and rubbing it through my hair, surprisingly I hear Negan enter the room. I push open the curtains and he's undressed.

"What are you doing?" I start having flashbacks to the other night. He gets in behind me, "I'm taking a shower with you" he whispers into my ear, kissing down my neck. The sensation of his lips makes me cringe, but I try to hide it. Tears slowly stream down my face, he notices and turns off the water, "It's Okay sweetheart, I'm not mad about what happened with Joey" He assumes it is about earlier, but I don't want to hold it in anymore, I have to tell someone, it is eating me up inside. I manage to speak through my tears, "it's not about Joey" he holds my face in his hands, "Then what?"

My voice cracks, "David, he r-ra" my knees goes weak I can't bring myself to say the word. He picks me up into his arms, wraps me in a towel, then lays me in the bed. He stays there holding me close as I cry. I can tell he feels guilty because he keeps repeating how sorry he is, but I don't say anything, I'm too weak.

He lays with me until I fell asleep,

With revenge in his eyes, he slowly rolls out of bed, trying not to wake me, then clothes himself. As he opened and shut the bedroom door he speaks into his walkie-talkie, "Does anyone know where David is?" His voice is calm not wanting to give anyone the heads up that something is wrong. David himself responds, "I'm on look-out duty, by the main entrance." Hearing his voice further enrages him, he makes his way there swinging Lucile by his side, imagining the terror that will be in David's eyes as he died.

As Negan approaches him, he turns around noticing the disturbed look on his face.

"What's wrong sir?"

He looks at him with a straight face,"You raped Y/N didn't you" David tries to speak, "Do you really think I need you to answer that?" he steps closer to him "Rape is against the rules here, I wouldn't want to be somewhere were it wasn't", he smirks "You really crossed the line"

David remains silent.

"And because of that Lucile is thirsty!" with one hard swing, the bat cracks his head open, killing him instantly. His blood creates a puddle as Negan continues to bash his head in.


	11. Reminder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has a confrontation with Amber.

I am conscious, though my eyes aren't open. I don't want to open them. Opening them would mean confronting the happenings of last night, which seem so terrible that I'm not sure if it was real. I roll over expecting to see Negan still sound sleep, but he's gone. I am used to it, I drag myself up and follow my typical morning ritual.

On my way to breakfast, I notice a woman approaching me, it is Amber. Are bodies brush each other, she grabs my hand forcing me against the wall, "You're gonna pay for taking Negan away from us" she stares deep into my eyes. I push her back, "Don't touch me, it's not my fault that he choose me over Y'all." She lifts her right arm and delivers a slap across my face loud enough that Dwight comes running. I hold my cheek, completely frozen. Before I could retaliate, he is standing between us, "What the hell is going on?" Amber says nothing and walks away with a vindicated smirk. He looks at me with concern "What happened?" tears form in my eyes, I push past him. The rapid thumps of my footsteps echo through the building. I frantically search for Negan, but I run into Simon instead "Where is he?" I stomp my foot with tears still streaming down my face. "I don't know, probably in the conference room, Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to talk to him" whipping the tears from my face.

"Hey, wait up," Dwight yells catching up to me.

"What do you want?" writing him off, I keep on my way to the conference room.

"You're not gonna tell him, are you?"

My feet stop "Why the hell not?"

"Because there's already been enough shit going around here lately" he sighs "that man has no-self control especially when it comes into you."

"Not my problem!" I shout back to him, still determined to find Negan.

I burst through the door, "that bitch, Amber, she fucking slapped me and Dwight stood there and just let it happen" I explain to him crying. He reaches his arm out holding me close, "It's alright, I'll talk to her" he reassures me, but I push him away "No it's not alright, I'm gonna fucking kill her" I go to grab Lucile, but he takes my arm stopping me, "I know your angry, but you need to calm down" he glares offended that I would even try to touch his precious weapon. "Fuck you!" I scream at the top of my lungs before falling to the floor in a fit of rage. He bends down, holding my face in his hands "I promise sweetheart, I'll take care of it".

~

Standing by Negan's side, he addresses the large crowd as they kneel before him. "I know everyone's been on edge lately, but there are rules that have to be followed, and one of them is, you don't touch what is mine." he turns his head to me then continues, "So today I decided to give everybody a reminder", he walks down the stairs with me following closely behind.

"Simon, got the iron ready?"

"Just like you asked" he raises it, everyone gasps wondering who the unlucky victim would be.

Negan takes the iron, "Now, I don't usually do this but it's always a good day for firsts!" an evil grin takes over his face, "Amber, you're up". The other wives look at her mortified and in disbelief.

"No, you can't do this to me!" She takes off running through the crowd, but Negan's men catch her and strap her legs to the chair in the middle of the room.

Now standing by her, he watches as the smoke radiates from the metal instrument, "This is what happens when you go against the New World Order" he glances down to Amber as tears soak her face, "Which hand did you slap her with?" She raises her right hand.

He nods, then presses the iron into her skin clamping her hand between the heated metal and the wood of the chair. She lets out a gut-wrenching scream. He holds it for about thirty seconds then releases, "Dwight take her to the doc."

"Yes, Sir" he helps her up leading the way, her screams and cries ring through the room as they exit.

He hands the iron back to Simon, "I hope I made myself clear" his eyes dart over to his other wives, "Now everybody get back to work!"


	12. Scout Honor?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tricks fat joey to help Daryl escape.

Two weeks past and all is well in the Sanctuary. The Alexandrians are giving up their findings with no problem and Negan hasn't bashed anyone's head in. I was finally beginning to completely adjust to my new life. Negan would go on runs, and I stay back watching movies and helping in the garden. Though I love my leisurely lifestyle, I'm beginning to get bored sitting around all day when the only source of entertainment is staring at a TV screen or shoveling dirt. I sit on the bed thinking, there must be something else to do around here.

At that moment, I remember, Daryl is here!

I sneak down the hallway to the opposite side of the building to find the cells where they keep the prisoners. It's dark, murky, and smells like these things haven't been clean out in weeks. Daryl's cells was a couple doors down from where mines were. I knock on the door, "Daryl, are you in there?" I hold my ear to the cold concrete. A small groan seeps through the door, "Don't worry, I'll get you out!" I look around for a key or anything to rig the lock, but I come up short. I hear footsteps approaching, I know if I get caught down here Negan is going to flip his shit. I quickly devise a plan.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I snap my head back and see its fat joey.

"Nothing, looking for you" I give him a flirtatious smile leaning against the door of an empty cell. He looks at me confused, "For what?" he becomes visibly nervous. I decide to take advantage of his fondness of me. I step towards him, twisting his beard between my fingers, "I've always wondered what it's like to be with a bigger guy" I hold in my laughter trying to be seductive.

He moves my hand, "You need to stop" putting on a faux tough guy act. I smile at him and throw myself into his arms, "He won't find out" I whisper into his ear, holding up three fingers "Scouts honor". His arms shake, I look into his eyes "Let's go in one of these cells, and I'll show you why Negan likes me so much". I can tell he is starting to let his guard down, so I reach my hand in his back pocket and slide his key out. He watches me as I move and unlock the door, I lick my lips and pull him into the cell with me, "Now close your eyes" he follows my instructions. His eyelids drop and I run past him locking him in.

"What are you doing, Y/N?" his voice is shaky,

"I'm sorry, Joey, but I have too" I run over to Daryl and finally release him. "Are you okay?" he nods his head, "Let's just get out of here" his demeanor is different from the last time I saw him. I motion towards the exit, "I know a way out of here, but I can't go with you". His face becomes sour, "Why not? Too comfortable with Negan?" My eyes went to the floor, I hate to admit it but it's true, "I have things I need to finish here". He seems unconvinced but not interested in persuading me to tag along.

"All you have to do is go out that door, and there should be an opening along the gate in the garden," I noticed this from working there occasionally. He looks at me and offers a half-baked smile, "Take care Y/N", I smile back and watch as he sprints out the door. Luckily for him, there aren't as many patrols today, Negan needs as many men as possible when he goes on runs.

I look up towards the ceiling praying that he makes it, but Joey's constant banging brings me back to the current situation. I slowly walk over to the cell and unlock the door. He comes running out pushing me aside, attempting to chase down Daryl but by the time he makes it outside he is already on the other side of the gate.

Phase one of my plan is complete before Joey could come back for me, I hurry to Negan's room and look myself in, glancing at the clock, it's 3:30 pm, he should be back soon. I search my dresser for lingerie, managing to find a sexy black, lace bra and panty set to put on, waiting for Negan to return, I lay across the bed and turn on the T.V.

An hour later, the door unlocks and the handle turns, "Y/N, I need you to explain to me how in the fuck Daryl escaped!" his face stern and merciless. I turn off the TV and look at him with my puppy dog eyes, "What are you talking about?" he shuts the door behind him, I roll out of bed, now face to face with him, "Joey says you stole his keys, is that true?" I try to answer, "And don't lie" he grips Lucile tighter.

"No, he's a liar, I've been here the whole time" I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him on the cheek. He seems to be believing me, he grabs my chin, "You better not be lying to me" he stares deeply into my eyes. "I'm not" I shake my head and sweetly smile. His lips connect with mine, "I'll talk to Joey again". I bring my lips back to his, then asks "Later?"

"Mm-hmm, we're going to Alexandria to find that redneck motherfucker, it's the most important thing right now" he breaks the embrace leaving out the door, "I'll see you later, make sure you're still wearing that bra and panties when I get back" he winks.

He closes the door, and I throw myself onto the bed, I have him wrapped around my finger.


	13. Bargaining Chip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan uses the reader to get the upper hand.

I wake up later that night to someone wildly knocking. Negan has only been gone for a couple hours, I wasn't expecting him to be back so soon. I open the door still in the bra and panties. Shit, it's Joey, I close the door back halfway, hiding my body behind the door. He averts his eyes, "um, y-you need to come with us". I look at him confused, "I'm not going anywhere until Negan gets back" I try closing the door, but he puts his foot in the way. "We just got the message that Negan needs you in Alexandria"

I retreat into the room, rushing to put clothes on. My mind was racing, there must have been trouble trying to find Daryl. "Hurry up!" he knocks again, sounding aggravated and worried all at once. "Okay, I'm ready" I swing open the door almost hitting Joey in the face.

Our frantic footsteps could be heard traveling throughout the building. We approach Negan's men as they are finishing packing extra weaponry into their vehicles. The sight only made me more nervous, it was obvious that something was going down.

The ride there was long and daunting,

When we finally arrive, everything seemed oddly peaceful. The saviors still stood outside the gates, while Negan was nowhere to be found. I jump out of the truck, spotting Simon, his face was still but confident, "What's going on?"

"Negan is making a deal" he smiles at me strangely. My face became distorted, "Then why did he want me here, everybody in the Sanctuary is freaking out!" he chuckles, "remember when he called you his 'precious bargaining chip' ?"

I roll my eyes, "yeah"

"Well, he's finally using you to his advantage". Rage gripped me, "Where is he?". He points to my old house, where Rick and Carl still live. I take matters into my own hands. Shoes pounding heavily across the ground causing mud to slash up my leg, I dart past people, trees, and trucks, to get to Negan.

Before opening the door, I contemplate whether I wanted to face my father at this moment. I know that I have to, Negan might actually need me. My fingers connect with the handle and I slowly begin to creep into the room, suddenly a hand grabs my arm pulling me forward.

"See Rick, she's alive! Now give me back my Daryl"

Rick stares, then continues "like I said, we don't know where he is"

Negan sighs letting go of my arm, "you never fucking learn, do you?" he turns to me, "Y/N, who should Lucile meet next?" my eyes widen, "please don't", he looks at me annoyed, "pick someone, now!" he growls. My body froze, as he stared me down. Rick steps in between us, "back off, this doesn't involve her!" He pushes Negan causing him to drop Lucille. We both watched as his face turns red, "you gonna to regret that prick!"

I have never seen him this upset, I could tell that murder was on his agenda. I rush to grab the barbed wire wrapped bat, trying to give him time to cool off before he went on another psychopathic killing spree, "Negan, please don't hurt anyone. We can-" he stops me mid-sentence, snatching Lucile out of my hands. "I'm going to give you five seconds, pick someone or I'll pick for you!" his face only inches from mine.

"Five" he begins to countdown

"four" adrenaline pumps through my vines

"three" I began to quake but remain silent

"two" his foot tapping becomes more aggressive

My anxiety got the best of me, I blurt out the first person that comes to mind, "Michonne!"


	14. Someone Has To Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan dishes out punishment.

"That's a fan-fuckin-tastic idea!" Negan looks over at him. "I wasn't expecting that!" he chuckles, taking practice swings with Lucile. In an act of desperation, Rick drops to his knees, "Please, Negan I'm begging you" a pool of tears drown his baby blue eyes. "Oh no don't pin this shit on me, I gave your daughter the choice"

Rick shots me a death glare, "tell him, you change your mind!" My eyes stay focus on the floor, knowing there is nothing anyone can do once Negan sets his sights on a target. He is determined to get Daryl back, and he knows that pain is the only way people learn.

Rick stands up and charges towards me.

"Stop, I'm sorry!" I scream as his hand clasped onto my hair.

He shouts at me,"You better figure out a way to fix this or your good as dead" Negan walks out, leaving me alone to deal with my dad.

Negan's POV:

Lucile swings by my side as I approach Simon, "Get everybody lined up, there's been a change of plan" a smile creeps on my face.

"You mean like last time?" his pitch raises in surprise

"Yep, Lucile is thirsty!"

"You heard him, I want every last person lined up, front and center!" Simon directs the rest of the men.

"Yes, sir," the group says in unison.

Y/N's POV:

"I told you I'm sorry" I push him off of me, "If you weren't such a pussy none of this would be happening!" I push him again causing him to stagger backward. All the emotions that I bottled up, are coming out. "I wish Negan would've shown up a long time ago, he treats me better than you ever could!"

"So you're siding with him now?" disgust in his tone. "After what he did to Glenn and Abraham!"

I shrug my shoulders, in complacency.

He turns away from me, picking up a pistol from the kitchen drawer, "Then get the fuck out of my house!" I laugh, "And if I don't, you're gonna shot me?" He steps closer, his stance becoming threatening, "Go!" he points to the door."Whatever" I roll my eyes and walk out.

I'm ready to be done with my father and everyone in Alexandria, for that matter, I would be okay if I never see any one of them again. As I get closer to front gates, I notice Negan's men crowding the entrance. "What's going on?" I ask Dwight He says nothing, grabbing my arm leading me down a familiar path.

"The woman of the hour!" Negan looks at me in a celebratory mood. I run over to him, "What the fuck are you doing?" I glance at the Alexandrians lined up side by side."I don't think I was clear last time, so now its time for part two" he looks past me, "bring me, Rick!"Dwight nods.

 

My eyes find Michonne sitting in line, on the farthest end from me. Our gaze meet, my chest becomes heavy awaiting the death of one of my people. I silently mouth to her "I'm sorry" shaking my head in disbelief. Her expression stays constant as she stares back at me.

"Finally, we got the whole gang together!" Negan shouts, bringing me back to earth. Rick struggles in the grasps of Dwight and another Savior as they force him to the ground. Lining him up next to Michonne. His hands shake angrily, but he never once looks up to me, Negan or Michonne.

Negan sneaks behind me wrapping his arm around my waist. "Watch and learn doll face" his breath blowing on my neck. I ignore him, arms folded across my stomach.

 

"Now, listen up you assholes!" He leans back, holding Lucile in the air. The Alexandrians stayed quiet as they listen to him rant."I already told you, people, if you cross me I will shut that shit down!" rage bleeds from his eyes. "I'm going to give y'all one more time to come clean" he scans their faces, "Where is Daryl?" The town remains mute.

Negan deeply inhales, holds it for a few seconds then exhales, "They always choose the hard way" He takes a couple of steps now looming over Michonne, "That's disappointing, I thought that we had an understanding, but this shows that someone's not on board and I can't have that" he turns to Rick, "I don't enjoy killing women, men I can waste them all the live long but at the end of the day, Michonne, my dear" he glares back to her. "Someone has to pay" he begins toying with Lucile in his hand. My body becomes overtaken by an onslaught of sobs and tears while she peers back at him without fear.

Rick miraculously regains his courage, he stands to his feet, "We can work this out", one of Negan's men pushes him back down. A smirk emerges on Negan's lips, "Oh yes we can and I'm going to right..." he lifts Lucile over his head, "Now!" he smashes her head causing blood to splash up his leg."Noo!" Rick attempts to stand again but is met with a boot to his face and Dwight holding a crossbow to his forehead, "Don't move, motherfucker!"

The sight of her demolished skull makes me drop to my knees. My cries echoing through the forest. Negan takes a break from beating her, "Simon, take her back to the truck" then continues brutalizing the lifeless pile of guts and bones, the other Alexandrians scream and wail in terror.

"Come on, let's go" he drags me away by my arm, I fight against him, but he ultimately overpowers me, shoving me into the passenger seat, then gets in on the other side. He sits observing from the window with me next to him, gut-wrenching sobs tearing through my chest.


	15. Not Today, Not Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Michonne's death.

"Are you sure you don't know where Daryl is?" he looks at me skeptically. "Fuck you, Simon!" I shout back through my tears. "Do you honestly think I would let another person die to protect Daryl?" my blood boils at the accusation. I pull my hand back and smack him across the face. His skin turns bright red, the vein in the middle of his forehead starts to throb. He grabs me by my chin, "Don't ever fucking hit me again" he whispers, inches from my face. I snatch away and scowl at him before turning to look out the window. Anger colors my soul, it spreads throughout my entire system, shutting down all other feelings.

Michonne's cold and limp body lie there as the rest of the Alexandrians return to their homes, Negan still squatting eye to eye with Rick.

Negan's POV

"I'm going to kill you"

My nose scrunches, "What? I didn't quite hear that you're going to need to speak up"

"Not today not tomorrow, but I'm going to kill you" Rick's voice takes a darker tone, My eyes stare intensely into his

"Well, you're right. It won't be today cause I got shit to do and people to screw!" I chuckle looking back at Y/N in the truck.

"Let's roll out" I stand, gesturing for my men to pack up.

Y/N's POV

I watch as Negan approaches with a bloody Lucile over his shoulder. He opens the drivers' side door, "I'll take it from here"

Simon nods and gets out the vehicle.

On the way back to the Sanctuary, the ride was silent. I didn't talk to him, and he didn't talk to me.

By the time we got back the sun was beginning to rise,"We're Home!" he parks the truck,  
"You still mad at me?"

I ignore him and get out, before closing the door I look back over my shoulder, "I'm going up to the room" I quickly shut the door not wanting to hear his response.

~

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I undress. I'm still wearing the bra and panty set I was going to surprise Negan with. I roll my eyes at myself in disgust, then crawl into bed. Every time I attempt to sleep I see nothing but Lucile, Negan, and Michonne. I fight back tears blocking out my thoughts.

I soon accept that I'm not going to get any sleep in here, it reminds me too much of him.

All I am is sadness, where there was the love, light, and laughter is an aching hollowness. I am honest, truthful, and full of more love for him than I even realize, yet apparently, all this is neglected once Rick, Daryl, or anyone is factored into the equation.

I get up and redress with the same clothes from earlier, and mindlessly walk the hallways looking for Dwight.

"Hey, where's Dwight?" I stop a random savior that I had never met before.

"Why the hell would I know" he replies annoyed.

"How 'bout where his room is?" I ask him, tilting my head to the side.

"It's the third door down" he points behind him.

I follow his directions and open the door, to find the room empty.

"Thank god" I whisper to myself.

His room was simple but cozy. It isn't nearly as lush as Negan's but it is comfortable and modest. I lay on his bed, my body becoming relaxed. I feel blackness come over me like a blanket but not a blanket of warmth but of cold, making me shiver but somehow it's making my eyes feel heavier and heavier, I close my eyes, sending me into a dreamless sleep. 

A nudge to my ribs makes me jerk awake to see Dwight's irritated face. "Out, Now!" he yanks me up, but I wrap my arms around his neck,"No, lay with me" 

He pushes me off, "Are you alright?"

I brush a piece of hair out my face, "Yeah, but I could be better" I sit back on the bed.

"Do you know what Negan would do if he found out I was even alone with you?"

I slowly nod my head.

"Then what the fuck do you think you're doing, or better yet, what do you think we're doing"

"If he can have wives, then I can have husbands" I get up to walk towards him.

I never saw Dwight in a sexual sense but this is the greatest way I know to get back at Negan. I'm tired of him playing with my heart, then expecting me to get over it and carry on like it never happened. The only reason he killed Michonne was to punish me because he thought something was going on between Daryl and I. 

He sighs "You know that's not how it works"

I lean in to kiss him, but he stops me, looking into each other's eyes, I whisper "He took your wife, don't you want revenge?"

He pauses for a moment, then a hand runs through my hair, he kisses me hard and urgently. Another hand slides around my waist and pulls me even closer. 

Now there is only one desire, one goal, and we both know it's just a matter of time before it happens...


	16. I'll Give You War!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new group emerges.

"That was amazing, I didn't know you had it in you!" I get off the bed putting my clothes back on. "What do you mean?" he lifts his head from the velvet pillow. "Well, I've always seen you as nothing but Negan's personal slave, but you proved me wrong" I turn back and wink at him before reaching for the doorknob.

"Wait"

I stop in my tracks.

"You're not gonna tell anyone, right?"

The sides of my lips lift upwards, "Of course not, Dwighty" I walk out shutting the door behind me.

That man is way too fun to play with, I chuckle to myself, Negan is right for not completely trusting him, manipulating him doesn't take much skill or effort.

"Hey, babe!" I approach Negan, while he is debriefing his men. I look at him smiling, he pulls my face closer, and our lips meet, but it was not sensual, it was like two strangers meeting: formal and mechanical.

"I'm sorry for what happened" He pleads

"I know, I've slept on it, you have to assert yourself in a world like this"

"Thanks for understanding" he wraps an arm around my shoulders, gently rubbing me. Simon interrupts the moment, "We need to come up with a plan and fast" his eyes were glazed over with worry. "What's going on?" I tilt my head up to Negan "Another group is causing us trouble, sweetheart" he hugs tighter trying to reassure me. "I think we might need to pay them a visit"

"But we just got back" I pout

"I know, but this is urgent" This is the first time I had heard fear in his voice.

Suddenly aware of my surroundings, I notice the Saviors packing extra firepower and reinforcements. Something about this ordeal makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I touch Negan's hand to get his attention, "A-am I going?" my voice cracks. "Yeah, I need my woman by my side" he grips my hand.

"Sir, everything is ready to go" Arat informs him, he nods and turns to Simon, "We're doing what we do best, that's the plan". Simon shakes his head. "Come on, you assholes!" Negan heads towards his truck dragging me along, "You're riding with us" he gestures to Simon, telling him to catch up.

We rode behind three vehicles, I watch as the unsettling scenery passed. Negan and Simon talked about ways to handle this new group while I listen in confusion. Whoever their leader is, has really worked everybody up. From what they were describing he sounds vicious and extremely calculated, maybe even more than Negan.

As we arrive at the entrance, I'm in awe at how tall the walls are and how heavily guarded this place seems to be. Everywhere I look someone is watching, hand on gun, ready to fight and defend. "When we get in here, stay quiet and stay behind me" I nod in compliance.

One of the men in the front trucks gets out and announces our arrival. The guards open the gate letting us in, but still keeping their weapons drawn. Their village resembled a military base, there were three main buildings each made to withstand any catastrophic attack thrown their way. It was like nothing I had ever seen before, there were no children or women in sight, only soldiers willing to kill for what they want. Negan helps me out the passenger side and kisses my check, "Remember what I told you" He leaves my side and confronts the man who lets us in.

Negan's POV

"I'm Negan and this is Lucile," I swing her side to side "We would like to have a word with your leader" I smirk at him, the same smirk that I give Rick the prick. "We figured that y'all would show up" He puts his gun in his holster, "He should be here in a few" he walks away, returning to his post. "Well, he better not keeps us waiting" I shout rallying up my men, showing dominance and control. Right on cue, a 6'4 long-haired man dressed in all black with his lower face covered steps out of an armored camouflaged SUV. He hands his rifle to his comrade before advancing towards me. "You ready to come to an agreement?" He grins as if he has the advantage. "Agreement my ass! you and your people repeatedly trespass on my territory", my knuckles turn white from how hard I'm holding on to Lucile.

He throws his arms into the air and scoffs, "I'm not gonna beg, you want war, I'll give you war!"


	17. Rue The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is thrown back in her cell.

I overhear the conversation escalating and rush to Negan's side, "Woah, hold on, we just came to talk" I nudge him, "Didn't we Negan". The two men stare each other down for a moment until the unknown man's eyes shift to me, "And who is this beauty?" He holds his hand out, but Negan pushes it away before I could reach for it. "Who she is, is none of your concern!"

Getting under Negan's skin has become my favorite pastime,

I move in front of him to shake the man's hand, "I'm Y/N, nice to meet you" he grins undressing me with his eyes, "Pleasure to meet you too, I'm Paul but everyone calls me Jesus". "That's a little narcissistic, don't ya think" I jokingly say to him.

"Its cause the hair and the beard" he chuckles playing with his facial hair between his fingers.

Negan's face flushes red, "Can we just get this over with" his voice carries causing people to glance over at us. Paul breaks eye contact and glares at him, "Fine, all I want is the hilltop and kingdom, you can have whatever shit-hole communities are left over" he begins to walk away. "No deal, ass-wipe" Negan swings Lucile but is immediately taken down by the militia. "Stop it! Get off him" I cry out, the rest of the Saviors fight back in defense of their leader. As each seconds pass, the atmosphere is becoming more violent.

Simon punches and kicks his way through the crowd until he reaches Negan and return us both to safety. Realizing how disadvantaged we are at this point he orders his men to retreat. The saviors follow his commands, strategically making their way back to their vehicles without leaving any openings for their opponents to get the upper hand.

Negan sticks the keys into the ignition, A daring idea comes to mind, and I hop over Simon's lap escaping the truck. Bolting past Paul's men, my eyes catch his and I jump into his arms. "Please don't let him take me" I fake cry into his chest. "Aww, don't worry honey, there's always a spot open in the militia"

I whip my 'tears' on to his jacket, "Thanks, you're-"

"Y/N what the fuck are you doing" Simon approaches us, attempting to pull me from the enemy's arms, "Get the fuck back in the truck, before Negan sees this shit". I lift my head, "I want him to see", Paul backs me up, "She doesn't have to go anywhere or do anything, Negan or whatever his name is, can suck my dick" I chuckle at his comment.

"You have five seconds to come to your senses before Negan comes out here" his eyebrows raise as he threatens me. "Ugh, I have to go" I look at Paul releasing my grip on him. "Are you sure?" his eyes showing disappointment. "Yeah, I gotta go" I walk back to the truck with Simon as he scolds me all the way there.

I sit in my usual seat between Negan and Simon. "What the fuck is your problem!" Negan yells roughly placing his hand on my shoulder. My eyes stay focused on the windshield as the engine starts. He lets out a grunt and grabs me by my chin, "You better start talking now!". My eyes meet his and I mutter "Michonne" I snatch away. He rolls his eyes, "Really, Y/N you're still on this shit? I thought you were over that"

"How could I be, she was my friend!" reminiscing makes tears fill my eyes but Negan doesn't show empathy, "How many fucking times do I have to apologize?" I stay silent.

Simon interrupts the screaming match, "You seriously need to control her, she's making us look weak" Negan's eyes dart to him, "What happened?"

"She was in his arms cryin' like a damsel in distress"

Negan snaps at me, "You got to be fucking kidding me" he fists my hair causing me to cry out, "When we get home, you're goin' back in your cell, bitch" He lets go, my body jerking forward.

The long trip to the Sanctuary consisted of threats and fits of rage, he was going to make me rue the day I crossed him.

~

The cell door shuts behind me, the loud bang causing me to flinch. I was back to square one, scared and unsure of what my future holds.

🎶We're on easy street and it feels so sweet.🎶

Not this shit again, Negan must be extremely pissed at me.

Surrounded by four concrete walls, there is nothing else to do but stare at them. I look at the rust that had started to chip off by passed time, or gouged by other captives — anything to pass time, slowly going mad, theorizing absurd meanings from the wall's blank stare. My only human contact being when Laura or Joey would bring me disgusting cat food sandwiches.

The dark room prevented me from keeping track of time but guessing from the feeding schedule, I've been locked up for at least three days.

~

Light creeps into the room as the door opens, I roll over to Dwight standing above me, I haven't seen him since the day we slept together.

"He's letting me out?"

"Yeah, but you're workin' for points now" He hands me a new pair of clothes.

"I'm cool with that" I start changing, "betcha he's back with his wives, isn't he?" I chuckle pulling the shirt over my head.

He nods, and I follow him out the cell.


	18. Points

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is working for points now.

He was walking unusual slow, almost robotically as if his brain was struggling to tell each foot to take the next step. His eyes staying focused forward. "Is something wrong?" I grab his arm stopping him. "No, it's just that Negan's been different lately, and I don't want him to think anything is going on that shouldn't be"

"Fine, we'll walk in silence" I catch up and walk next to him. The rest of the way, we didn't speak to each other but I could tell that something was weighing heavy on his mind.We reach the outdoors, the sunlight shining in my sleep-deprived eyes, the warmth of the summer air reminds me of everything I was missing being locked in a cell.

"So what am I doing," I say in a cheerful tone, not wanting to let on to the betrayal I felt from Negan. "Count all the bullets and guns, then categorize them by model and condition" He hands me a journal with the same stern face he gave me earlier. I pick up a box of bullets and go to work.

I am halfway through when I decide to make conversation. "You want to know the real reason Negan is so pissed?" I say to him with a grin. He doesn't stop what he's doing, but he responds "Sure". I lick my lips in excitement for his reaction, "The other group's leader was flirting with me and I totally played into it" I chuckle, still counting inventory. Dwight laughs, his demeanor becoming more relaxed, "I should have figured"

Hours pass of endless bookkeeping until nighttime came. After dinner, Dwight walks me to the community showers, leaving me to find my way to Negan's room when I'm done.The water pours down dripping by my side, as my mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calms me, it takes my mind off things. All the things I had to think about in that cell. My mind swirls and its like I'm standing under an everlasting waterfall. Ever so beautiful but it can never last, I know that.

I step out of the shower, dressing in the clothes I brought with the points I had earned that day then began the haunting walk to Negan's rooms. I meekly knock on the door, holding my breath for the moment that Negan would answer. The door swings open and there he is, "Welcome back sweetheart!" he grins letting me in, I say nothing and jump into bed. "Are you gonna take a shower?" he asks smugly. "Already did" I cover my face with one of this ultra soft pillows. He chuckles and lays next to me in his boxers, "Makeup sex?" he tries to rub my legs, but I move farther from him. "You do these awful things to me, then think sex is going to make everything alright" I kept the pillow on my face, making my words come out slightly mumbled. Negan lets out a sarcastic sigh as he turns off the bedside lamp, making the room pitch black.

The darkness stirs up the memory of all those days and nights I spent, locked away from the outside world. My tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child. Negan shifts closer to me wrapping his arm around my waist, I shove him away."What's wrong?" he whispers. "You really don't know" just a few words, but they bring even more tears to my eyes. "I know 'sorry' isn't enough but I want you to know that I regret every fucked-up thing I've ever done to you" he gets up and flicks the light back on. Covering my face with his hands, he wipes away my tears with his thumbs. Still laying down I look into his hazel eyes seeing a part of him that I never knew existed, it makes me want to forgive him and for him to forgive me, My voice cracks as I speak, "I'm sorry for what happened with Paul" I struggle to get the words out. He nods holding me closer, "You should try to get some rest" he turns the lamp back off and snuggles me into the warm sheets. My eyes grow heavy and puffy from crying, my breathing slows and as sleep takes over, I realize that forgiveness is letting go of all negative emotions and memories. It is moving on with whatever positives remain. If nothing remains then our relationship is all negative - abusive - even if invisibly so.


	19. Something Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sanctuary heads out for war.

In the darkness, our cuddles feel like a little touch of heaven, warm, together, and cozy. I wish I could extend the night just, so I could stay close to him for longer, safe in his embrace. His arms wrapped around me brings a sense of peace I've never known before, a calming of the storms in my head. It's him who gives me hope for the future. When I'm with him there is nothing to fear, there only is sunshine, beauty, and love, but like always, Negan is gone before sunrise, and I lay alone again. His cuddles are the only medicine I need, they are the light at the end of the tunnel, a lone star in an otherwise empty sky.

Soon enough there is a knock at the door, "Come in" I shout tiredly. The knob twist and Joey walks in holding a tray of fresh crimson berries covered with a mountain of tangy sweet whipped cream, rich grainy brown sugar covering the delectable airy perfection. "Negan thought you'd like something sweet"

"Thanks", I smile taking the food out his hands, tasting one of the strawberries before setting it down on the nightstand.

After what seemed like a friendly interaction, suddenly his face drops becoming serious, "We're going to war, Negan didn't want anybody to say anything, but I think you should know". My mind fails to create words, I stare into his eyes and everything falls silent, "Why?" I ask fearing his answer. "That new group is trying to take over Alexandria" My eyes widen in shock as my heart begins to race making me feel light-headed. "Negan is protecting them?"

"Yeah, they're our best outpost" he turns walking towards the door, "I need to get back to work"

I jump out the bed, feet touching the cold concrete floor, My body wedged between him and the door, "How is it looking for us?"

He grunts, "I don't know I shouldn't be telling you this anyways" I could see the fear in his eyes. My head drops in shame realizing that I've already gotten him in trouble once. I move out his way, letting him leave.

I sat at the foot of the bed with the tray in my lap eating breakfast, each forkful smaller than you'd feed a baby. Pausing before taking any more, my mind ventures to Alexandria and Negan. I wonder if he will actually protect them or if this was all a game. Once the bowl was empty, I change into an outfit Negan got me on one of his runs, the dress is made of blue fabric, it has a short narrow skirt that flares at the bottom with a V-line waist and long flared sleeves, accented with a spray of flowers, and a nice pair of heels to match.

I leave the room, heading down the stairs to find the Sanctuary was in an uproar. The entire group, even Negan's wives although they no longer wore their signature black dresses, were outside. Every weapon including guns, flamethrowers, knives, and bombs, were being prepared and transported. I watch as they stood at attention at the sight of Negan with Lucille in hand, "Speed this shit up, we need to catch these fuckers off guard" he yells commanding the crowd. Our eyes find each other over the long distance, he strolls over. His lips brush mine, not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. I want to pull away before I lose myself and I can't seem to, my senses have been seduced and I can no longer think straight, "Y/N" he whispers slowly prolonging each letter as if to savor them. I smile, my heart fluttering at his voice and my arms thrown over his neck. Never before has my name ever felt so wonderful. Our lips part, making him let out a sexy growl.

"I'm guessing you don't want me to tag along," I say already knowing what his response was going to be. "No, not this time baby, daddy has work to do" his voice is calm and steady not showing that something serious is going on. I pry into him to see if he will be honest, "Are you sure everything is okay? Everyone seems to be on high alert" he chuckles almost as if he knows he is caught. "Um yeah, don't worry about it" I remove my arms from around him, "Whatever you say" I utter sarcastically walking back to the building. His booming voice stops me at the door, "We found Daryl, by the way" hearing that name made chills go down my spine. My head turns back, "Are you keeping him here?"

"Are you fucking kidding me, not after what happened last time!"

I shoot him a smile, pleased with the fact I don't have to worry about getting involved in whatever escape plan Daryl is going to come up with. "Good" I nod my head before continuing on my way. I won't let him ruin what Negan and I have going on.

I watch my feet take steps across the old tiles, my heels clicking as I walk. The emptiness of the hallways allows me to explore the still relatively unknown environment. My curiosity leads me to an area that I faintly remember, the door to the right catches my attention. I push my ear against it, listening to hear if anyone was inside. The silence welcomes me in. I crack open the door, immediately recognizing that this is the wives room, except all the furniture, was cleared out, with only the t.v left and their black dresses scattered lazily near the closet.

Why didn't he tell me?

To be honest, the situation confuses me, but I can't help that it's definitely a good ego boost. The only thing that could make this better would be to see the look on Amber's face when I'm by Negan's side wearing her dress.


	20. Scot-Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war continues.....

Later that day....

Negan's POV:

A sudden gush of pain jolts through my body. My arms losing tension and my legs beginning to go weak. He will not get the best of me! Bruised and winded, with a leg in agony, I deliver a swift punch to Paul's face. He groans as he falls backward, getting a taste of dirt. I stand over his wounded body as confident as ever, "This is what happens when you try to go against your superior!" I kick him in the stomach, making him cough up blood. "This shit is fuc-" he grabs my foot and pulls me to the ground.

My head pounds through my ears, and before I could blink, a fist charges at my face snapping my nose. I struggle under his punches until a loud bang travels through the air of Alexandria. The weight on me instantly lifts, and he is sent flying, blood scattering along the path.

The shadow of a gun appears over me, specifically a Colt M4A1, "You still alive down there?" Simon extends his hand, pulling me to my feet. "Any word from back home?"

"Yeah, everything is under control, they haven't made it that far" he hands me his handkerchief after noticing the pouring blood from my face. 

Y/N's POV:

I felt the need to move almost without end if my limbs were moving my anxiety was gone, or at least easier to ignore. I feel selfish being protected and safe in the Sanctuary while most everyone else is on the battlefield. The only other people left behind, being a small group of Saviors to defend the home front and whoever wasn't deemed useful in combat.

Hanging out on the rooftop has become my favorite getaway. Up here it's like looking down at the world. You can see the trees, the flowers, and the walkers. It's somewhat calming, but my mind still finds a way to torment me with images of Alexandria engulfed in flames. The new life I had built for myself flashes before my eyes. I pause trying to hold back the strange feelings inside me, but I couldn't, a lone tear traces down my cheek as the wind blows through my hair.

"Ya alright?" an unknown voice speaks behind me, causing me to flinch. I turn around to see a brunette man standing about 6'1. "I'm fine" I look away not wanting him to see me in such a vulnerable state. "We just got the message that Negan is safe" A grin of relief forms on my face but quickly falls, as I remind myself that he is never safe, no one is. 

Negan's POV:

Terror could be heard coming from outside the tall walls that stood high defiantly in the face of the vicious attack. It's only a matter of time until they surrender, being that their leader is dead. "How's it going out there?" I call with my walkie-talkie.

"The battle is nearly won" Simon responds, as one of the Alexandrians bandages up my nose. The standoff was short, a tactical advantage to our side, almost no casualties.

"When this is over, I want you and your people out!" Rick approaches from behind giving me that annoying side-eye he always does. "Is that any way to thank someone who just saved your goddamn life" we stand face-to-face. "What do you honestly expect after what you've done to us" he backs off retreating to his home. "You know what's funny, Rick? You haven't once asked me about y/n since I've been here"

"I have no idea who that is" he shuts the door behind him without so much as glancing back. 

Y/N's POV:

There is tenseness to my muscles that makes me more like a mannequin on this soft mattress than a woman of flesh and bone. I start to regret taking the man's advice, I stare at the ceiling, my brain trying to organize the chaos in my life. I want to sleep to forget that everything is falling apart but not even the double vodka I downed can do that.

Negan's POV:

By the time we return home, it is the crack of dawn, night had come and gone. The golden light softly creases the land and ignites the birds into a chorus of melodies. I step out the truck, victoriously thrusting Lucile into the air, causing the guards on watch duty to cheer. The battle is over, and the Sanctuary got off scot-free. "To congratulate all of you for a job well done, everyone eats free today!" the crowd roars as they pat each other on the back. The energy traveled through me like electricity but there was only one thing that was on my mind. I push my way through the mass of people in search of her.

"Negan!" a feminine voice calls, I feel her warm body jump into my arms, stealing my breath. 

Y/N's POV

I feel his firm torso and the heart that beats within. His hands fold around my back drawing me closer in. My body shakes, crying to release the tension bottled up inside. He pulls his head back and wipes my tears with a calloused finger. Eating me with his eyes, he then runs a hand through my hair as if he can't believe that I'm not a part of an almost forgotten dream. When he kisses me its sweet, gentle and taste of my tears. I want to speak but all I can do is croak, "Don't go, not again" his mouth paints a soft smile, and he nods before holding me in his arms again.


	21. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan is suspicious of Dwight.

Finally, we reach our room. He tries to kiss me, "No. Not yet." I tease. I pull his shirt over his head and push him hard onto the bed. He sinks down into the mattress. I fall gracefully on the bed next to him and sink into the pillows before straddling his hips and taking off my shirt. He goes to sit up, but I push him back down.

"Y/N-" I cut him off by kissing him. He kisses back, his hands come up to my neck and hair. I pull away and grab his hands gently and place them back down by his sides.  
"No touching," I whisper.  
"That's not fair." He sulks.  
"Shh." I bring my finger up to his lips and kiss him again. It's a slow process, but I want to enjoy it, but most of all, I want him to enjoy it. I stop kissing his lips and move to his jawline, neck, and collarbone. Kissing every inch, I can feel the struggle to keep his hands down. I place soft butterfly kisses down his chest and abs.  
"Y/N." He whispers my name. I can hear and feel the desperation to use his hands and the willpower it's taking him not to. I sit up, still straddling him and gently take his hands and place them on my hips.  
"Your turn," I whisper into his ear and bites his earlobe. His hands instantly flip me over violently. He buries his head into my neck, and his hands roam all over my body. Our breathing then becomes rough and fast.  
"You're irresistible." He says while kissing my chest. His hand comes up to my bra and doesn't attempt to undo the strap. He grabs the middle and yanks. I hear the fabric rip and gasp at what he just did. "Shh," he says. This time was like nothing else. He took all of me and savored every moment.

~

"So, why didn't you tell me," I ask him as he lies beside me. "Tell you what?" he wraps his arms around my waist hugging me close. "The elephant in the room, your wives," I say as my arms encircle his torso, and my head rests on his shoulder. "I wanted it to be a surprise" he murmurs with a tiny sigh. I chuckle as he starts to doze off, "You tired?". He slowly nods and in seconds he out like a light.

Not wanting to wake him, I wait a few minutes, then move from his grasp, rolling out the bed. I walk leisurely to the bathroom, I strip down and step slowly into the shower, turning the water on high and letting it beat over my head in steamy rivulets. Closing my eyes to the water as the heat soaks into my skin, I lean against the cool tiles as my weak legs threaten to buckle.

The bathroom door cracks open, and I don't even flinch, engrossed as I am with the water cascading down my body and massaging muscles long past cramped.  
"Y/N" Dwight whispers, the exasperation clear in his tone. "What are you doing?"  
My eyes widen, and my eyebrows raise at the same time, shocked that he would do this. "We need to talk."  
I rip back the shower curtain, only exposing my head. "We'll talk later, get out." His face becomes distorted, "hurry up"  
I watch him as he turns away and shuts the door.

Remorseful. Guilty.

That was how I feel at this moment. I wish for a time machine to when we slept together — the worst of all I had done. However, I can not. I have to live with it. Remorse digs at my conscious. While guilt chews like a worm at the core of an apple at my heart. A tear trickles down my cheek, thinking of much I love Negan and how stupid I was for trying to hurt him.

A trail of water droplets falls behind me as I tiptoe through the room, dressing as Negan stays fast asleep.

I open the door, to find Dwight impatiently waiting with his arms crossed in front of his chest. "What the fuck was that all about?" I whisper-yell at him, punching him. "Sticking up for my self" The next thing I know, he slams his lips against mine, nearly knocking the wind from my lungs. I hardly have a moment to react before he presses his tongue to the seam of my lips and delves deeply into my mouth. It's a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of old wine.

I push him off of me, sending him into the wall. "We aren't a thing, I only did it to get back at Negan, and you know that!" He tries to walk towards me but I put an arm out keeping the space between us. "That way you kissed me that night, I can't get it out of my head"  
"Well you're gonna have too" my eyebrows becoming furrowed. He grabs my arm, moving it out the way, "I won't let Negan, take you away from me like he did Sherry!"

The bedroom burst open, Negan with Lucile steps out, "You won't let Negan do what?"


	22. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions rise between the reader and Dwight.

"You won't let Negan do what?" a heavy silence settles over us, thicker than the uneasy tension in the atmosphere. Dwight's unresting eyes glance rapidly around the hallway avoiding Negan's gaze. "He was just leaving," I say, breaking the silence. I turn back to the room but Negan stops me, putting his arm in the doorway, "No I think he was saying something important" his tone turning dark. He redirects his attention to Dwight pointing Lucile in his face, "Start explain' now or it's not gonna end well for you" Dwight wipes the sweat from his brow then speaks, "Me and Y/N have been hangin' out lately, and what I was trying to say is that I don't want anybody-" Negan corrects him, "You mean, me". He nods, "I don't want you getting in the way of our friendship" silence falls upon us once again as they stare each other down waiting for the other to make a move.

"I didn't think we were that close" I chuckle to cover my anxiety.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Dwight's eyes bulge out of his head.

"Woah, hold on there dwighty boy, Y/N is my wife now and I can't have you disrespecting her" Negan pushes me behind him, showing his dominance. The way he asserts himself, sets Dwight off, "Don't make a traitor out of me! If it's a snake you're looking for, you got one standing right behind you!" His sudden confidence takes all of us by surprise. I don't say anything as Negan snatches my hand pulling me back beside him, "Is there something you need to tell me, sweetheart?" His voice now low and growly. His eyes pierce my soul as he glares at me, completely dismissing the fact that Dwight raised his voice to him. "No, he's probably still bitter about not having a wife anymore" I snap at him, offended that he would even question my loyalty. I try to go into the room again, but he catches my shirt and tugs me back, "No one's going anywhere until I get to the bottom of what fuckery has been goin' on around here" He hands me Lucile before taking another step towards Dwight trapping him against the wall. "Are we backsliding? Cause I thought we were past that" All of his confidence goes down the drain, "No, I'm sorry sir"

I smile relieved that he isn't jealous enough to expose what had happened but right as Negan steps away he whispers under his breath, "what a bitch". I overhear him but Negan didn't seem to notice. "I think we're done here" he takes Lucile from me, returning to our bed but I didn't move a centimeter as I observe Dwight cowardly looking at the ground. "Come here, my dear wife" Negan calls from a distance. I ignore him. "Go on," Dwight says condescendingly.

"Fuck you!" I take my shoe off and throw it at him. It hits him straight in the forehead. He grunts in pain falling to his knees.

"Get away from me, you creep!" I scream loud making sure Negan hears. He rushes to me, "What the hell has gotten into you two?"

"He tried to touch me!" I lie in hopes it would be enough to put him in a cell, so he would never have the opportunity to tell Negan about us, again. He pulls his walkie-talkie off his waistband, "Simon, I need you on the second floor"

He answers "Rodger that" sounding slightly confused and worried.

Dwight lies on the floor holding his face as it starts to bruise.

"Wrong move motherfucker, you're gonna pay for that!" Negan kicks the side of his head, his eyes slowly close as he goes unconscious.


	23. Rules Are Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader meets a little girl.

"Dwight has been really pushin' it lately," Negan says as we walk back to the room. "If his attitude doesn't change he may have a meeting with Lucile" he opens the door, "Ladies first" I walk into the room, taking off my shoes before getting into bed. "I think he's just jealous" I suggest flirtatiously laying over the covers. "Well everyone is jealous of me" he follows behind me, cuddling my waist. We both share a laugh at his comment, his chest rising and falling against my back, our breaths in unison, feeling his warm blood in our embrace drives my lust for him deeper. "Honestly, it's because you have me" he chuckles and nuzzles my neck with delicate kisses so faint they are like whispers with his hand angled slightly to the side peaking over my shoulder, he leans in and pushes his lips on to mines.

He pulls away, "I'm gonna take care of that fucker for good" he kisses my cheek before turning over to his side of the bed.   
~

Clouds dominate the afternoon sky leaving patches of blue. Though they are mostly white there is a hint of greyness, a warning of upcoming rain. 

I leave to get lunch leaving Negan to rest. The cafeteria is full, as I step in line awaiting my turn.

"Why are you in line?" I hear a small voice say from behind me. I turn around to see a little-redheaded girl, she wore a sweat-stained polka dot shirt and a skirt, her bare legs were ashy and pale. I bend down to her level with a smile on my face, "Everyone has to stand in line sweetheart, it's important to be polite" she smiles back, "but what about Mr.Negan?"

I sigh realizing that he's an obvious contradiction. "He's different, he takes care of us, so he gets to eat first"

"but-"

Before she could ask any more questions I usher her in front, "What do you want, honey" her once smiling energetic face becomes sad and bland "Mommy said I only have enough points for one thing" she picks up a banana as she is about to walk away, I stop her, "What else do you want?" She looks back at me confused, "Negan and I are friends, I'm sure he won't mind if you get a little extra" I whisper hoping that no one would overhear. The joy returns to her face, and she runs to the table grabbing a few pre-made sandwiches and another banana.

The point-keeper glances at me skeptically, probably wondering if Negan would authorize me to make these types of calls, but she doesn't challenge it. I quickly pick up my lunch, consisting of chicken, celery, lettuce, and tomatoes to make a simple salad. By the time I had all my items in hand, the girl had run off.

~

I brought the food back to my room wanting to eat in privacy without the judgmental gaze of the less fortunate. I sit on the edge of the bed devouring the salad as Negan is still asleep. The interaction with the little girl causes me to rethink my role in the Sanctuary. It makes me want to be more involved and helpful in the community, I don't want people to view me as someone who's only purpose is to be Negan's fucktoy.

When I'm done eating I put the dirty bowl on the nightstand and crawl into bed, cuddling up to him from behind. I place my head over his shoulder making him stir, "I'm guessing you're not gonna let me sleep"

"I need to talk to you about something" I pout

"We have to do this now?" his voice tired and grouchy. I decide not to beat around the bush. "You should let children eat without points" he moans in annoyance "Rules are rules"

"I know but-" cutting me off I hear his obnoxious snores, he's back in dreamland.


	24. Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader pays a visit to Dr.Carson.

Later that evening I'm sprawled across the couch reading a JK Rowling novel. A gentle knock on the door takes me out of my fantasy world. "Coming" I pick myself up, carrying my heavy body across the room. I open the door to the little girl from earlier and a woman who I can assume is her mother. She seems nervous and unsure of herself while the child stares with a flash of excitement in her eyes. "I'm Chloe's mom" she gestures towards the girl. "We came to apologize for going over our-" I stop her, stepping into the hallway, "Don't worry about it, Negan's cool with it" I lie, Negan would never approve of this whole situation, Lord only knows how he would react.

"See mommy! She told me I could" she jumps up and down tugging on the woman's arm. She quickly hushes the child, "Thank you, you don't have to worry about her anymore" She smiles, and I smile back.

"No thanks needed, everyone can use help sometimes"

She nods and walks away dragging Chloe along with her. "Bye, Negan's wife!" she waves back to me. It takes me off guard to hear someone to refer to me that way.

I return to Negan's side, deciding to wake him up, I straddle his torso as his snores hit me in the face. "Come on, time to get up" I lightly slap him, "Don't you have things to do?" I bounce causing the bed to speak.

"I'm fucking up, okay!" he abruptly lifts his upper body, I go flying off the bed and hit the floor straight on my ass.

"What the hell Negan" I stand up, rubbing my backside. He looks at me with a small grin, "Lost your balance?" I shot him a sarcastic smile and sits next to him. "Did you think about it?" his eyes squint confusingly "huh?"

"Letting children get food without points, remember?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, cause I never said a goddamn thing about that!" He snaps suddenly irritated. It surprises me how negatively he responds to this, I figure I should dead the issue, "Are you mad I woke you up?"

"Nope, your right, shit has to get done around here and I can't count on my wife to do anything" He picks up Lucile and slams the door behind him making the walls vibrate.

Did I really piss him off that much? This is the first time he has ever talked to me like that in a long time. I know I woke him out of this precious beauty sleep, but he doesn't have to be so bitchy about it.

Anger boils inside me, usually, this wouldn't be enough to get to me but as of lately my emotions have been all over the place and I haven't been feeling like myself. I wanted to wait this out but it doesn't seem to be getting better, it's definitely time to see Dr. Carson. I've always hated doctor's offices but something might be wrong.

~

He has the posture of a soldier every action he takes is precise and with purpose. He smiles in the cold and distant way many people around here do. Through the examination, he gives commands rather than request. I didn't tell him what exactly I had been feeling, instead saying that Negan wanted me to get a checkup. When the prodding was over I drop my eyes to the floor anticipating his diagnosis, "Everything seems to be fine".

"Are you sure? Lately, I've been feeling really weird".

He pulls up a chair and sits in front of me, "I'm gonna need more details if you want me to help you"

"Just fatigue and mood swings..... and a couple of missed periods"

His eyes widen and jaw hangs, "Do you and Negan use protection?"

My heart begins to beat against my chest and blood races through my veins. My hand stretch over the warm lien, "We use the pull out method, most of the time" I know what he is alluding to and I can't believe it could be true, I know we've been reckless the last few weeks but I assumed that my lack of a period was due to stress.

"I don't have the resources to give you a blood test but I have a few at-home ones" he searches through the drawer in the back of the room until he returns with three pregnancy digital sticks. I hesitate to take them, fearing the worst case scenario. Instead of waiting for me, he puts the tests in my hand and helps me out of the chair.

There is a bathroom attached to the office that I used to take the tests. After I pee on the sticks I walk out with them turned over, so I couldn't see the results.

"What does it say?" he asks in a quiet tone.

"I don't know" I give them to him and crawls back on the recliner. He examines them then slowly lifts his head, "You're Pregnant"


	25. Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader struggles to hide her pregnancy.

"You're Pregnant"

Words left me. I stare into his brown eyes with worry and confusion, my heart falls silent "Are you okay?" he asks, but I couldn't speak, my lips are sealed. As if stuck underwater, everything was slowed and blurry as he waved his hand in front of my face. "Here are some prenatal vitamins that you'll need to take" he hands me a pill bottle filled with multi-colored gummies. My mind stays blank, and my eyes wide as I stare at him in horror. His eyes sympathetically search mine, he sits next to me placing a hand on my thigh, "You're gonna be alright, Negan wouldn't do anything to harm his child" I swallow spit before I am able to give a response, "This wasn't supposed to happen" I lose myself. I sob into his chest unceasingly, the medicine hits the ground, and my hands clutch at his white coat, "My dads gonna hate me, they're all gonna hate me!" the panic begins like a cluster of sparks shooting through my heart then into the rest of my body. He wraps his arms around my frame pulling me closer, "You don't need to be worried about them, all you should be concerned about is you and your baby" I look up to his face and with hesitation, I ask him something I thought I would never consider, "What if I don't want to go through with this?" tears still stream down my face as I finish, he sighs I could see the guilt and regret before he spoke "We would have to tell Negan about this but-" I interrupt him, "I thought this was about me and my baby" I say, putting emphasis on the 'my' part.

 

"The baby is yours and his" He retorts picking the vitamins up and placing them in my lap, "My dad knows nothing about our relationship, I can't randomly show up one day with my stomach the size of a beach ball or with a baby in my arms!" The fact that Dr. Carson is even attempting to persuade me is making my blood boil. Though I was a frightened crying girl only seconds prior, my emotions flip and my eyes become rigid, cold, and hard. 

"Do you have any idea what Negan would do if I let you do this behind his back" He barks at me throwing his arms up in defiance and stands. I stand too, getting in his face, "Last time I checked, I'm in control of my body, not you and not Negan!" We stare each other down until I break eye contact storming out the room, tears clouding my vision, I am not bothered to shut the door. I frantically make my way through the hallways not wanting to interact with anyone.

I jump into bed, disregarding the little person inside of me, As soon my body hits the thick comforter another wave of emotions begins to take over. Pregnancy wasn't something I ever wanted to experience during the apocalypse. I abandoned the dream of motherhood when the world first went to shit. Things are different now, I can't bear to go through this alone without my family. Though I'm in love with Negan, his support isn't enough in this situation. Come to think of it I haven't been to Alexandria in a while. Since everything had been going well with Negan and me, I didn't feel the need to go back but maybe a visit is just what I need to come to terms with all of this and I can finally tell my father everything I've been keeping secret.

~

A couple of outfits, my toothbrush, and the dreaded prenatals was all I gather, as I pack a book-bag for the journey. Even though I was sure I didn't want this pregnancy I figure I should still take them if by some miracle I change my mind.

Right as I hide them in the front pocket, the door creaks open, my head snaps back and Negan walks in. He doesn't initially notice the bag, his facial expression more relaxed and pleasant than it had been when he left."Daddys home!" a smile spreads on his face. I cringe at the irony, did he really have to say that? He wraps his arms around me pulling me in for a kiss. His lips crash onto mine and I feel his hand creep up my leg, then without warning, he smacks my ass. He releases me and glances at the bed "What'cha got goin' on here?" his eyebrow furrowed. 

"You're taking me to Alexandria," I say giving him my doe eyes that I always use when trying to convince him. "Why Hun, we stopped dealing with them after the shit with Paul" I let out an overdramatic sigh, "I know but that doesn't mean I never want to see them again" Before responding he takes off his boots and lays across the bed "Fine, we'll take a trip up there tomorrow" my inner-self is doing cartwheels. "How long can we stay?"

"I don't know, I still have a feeling that I'm not well-liked there, even though I did save their asses" he brags. I give him a nervous smile as the thought of telling him and Rick that I am pregnant dances throughout my mind.


	26. Daddy Negan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader announces her pregnancy.

Rick's POV:

"Do you ever think we'll see Y/N again?" Carl asks me holding Judith. These are the type of questions that make me remember all the things I try to forget. I pretend to not hear him, as I continue to cook breakfast in our family kitchen. It's awkward to think of the concept of family when my daughter has been taken from me. "We can't just pretend she never existed" I turn from the stove still holding the spatula in my hand, "She's where she wants to be"

"You can't really think that, dad, what if he's blackmailing her?" Carl bites his lower lip and his eyes turn glossy. Seeing the sadness in his eyes, takes a toll on me, I turn back around, trying to avoid seeing his tears. "He's not, Carl" I say quietly as I scramble the eggs.

He sets Judith in her high chair, then comes up from behind me. "But how can we be sure of that?"

"Trust me, she's happy with him" my eyes suddenly flood with tears, but I hurry to scrub them from my face. He places a hand on my shoulder, "I know you two don't have the best relationship, but she's still my sister" I hear his footsteps leave the room and Judith begins crying. I leave the pan and go to lift her. Her bright green eyes find mines, and she smiles, as only a baby can during a time of so much hurt. I lean in to kiss her on the forehead, but a knock comes from the front door. It comes quietly first and then there is silence. I stand motionless. The next knock is louder and faster this time. "Let us in Rick. We know you're in there." A voice demands from the other side.

Y/N POV:

Negan wraps his arm around my waist, as we stand waiting for someone to answer the door.

The door is swung open and Rick appears holding Judith. Negan's eyes widen at the sight of her. "Is this your little sister, Y/N?" He turns to me with a huge grin on his face. Before answering I look up to Rick then back to him. "Half-sister"

Rick interrupts the exchange, "Why are you here?" directing the question to Negan. "Whoa relax, we just came for a quick visit" they stare each other down as I observe them. "I need to talk to you, dad" My eyes showing that the situation is serious, he moves from the entrance, letting us in. "Good choice prick" Negan pushes his way through.

"How's everybody been?" I ask breaking the ice as we sit in the living room. "Fine" is all he replies. I nod my head. There is a moment of silence then Negan speaks, "I want to know more about this little cutie" Rick scowls and holds Judith tighter. "Her name is Judith," I say realizing my dad isn't going to engage with him. Negan looks at me then back to her, "So, who cheated, Rick or your mommy?" he says with a chuckle. 

"No one cheated, my mom was his first wife"

Rick looks at me, presumably pissed off that I would volunteer this information, but I don't see a reason to hide it. It's obvious that we aren't full siblings.

"Do you have any other siblings, your not telling me about?" I open my mouth to respond but I'm stopped by the sound of footsteps traveling down the stairs. It catches Negan's attention as well, and he turns to see who this mystery person is.

A teenage boy runs in, aiming a pistol at Negan's head. "You should go before you find out how dangerous we all are!"

"Well pardon me young man, excuse the shit out of my goddamn french but did you just threaten me" Negan says as he gets up from the couch.

"Carl, what are-" I say but Negan interrupts me, "don't be rude Y/N, we are having a conversation here" I look to my dad, and he looks back at me. We are both shocked that Carl would do something as crazy as this especially considering the fact that we've been trying to hide him this whole time. Rick made him stay at the hilltop when the saviors first started causing us problems, but he must have let him come back after the war was over and Negan promised to leave Alexandria forever.

"Now boy where were we? Oh! Yeah, your giant man-sized balls, listen I like you, so I don't want to go hard proving a point here, I know you don't want that" Carl eyes stay focused on him, continuing to point the gun. "I'm serious do you want me to prove how serious I am?" the staring match begins but Carl cracks and hands the pistol to Rick.

Negan chuckles and turns to Rick, he passes over the gun.

Carl runs over to me and hugs me, "I missed you so much, we thought we were never gonna see them again" are arms intertwine, and I pat his head, "I missed you too" I kiss him on the cheek "I love you" a single tear escapes my eye.

"Let me guess, he's your brother" Negan laughs and walks over to us. I look at him and roll my eyes.

I know I've been avoiding it but I think it's time to break the news to them. I might not get another to chance with all of us together.

I place my hands on Carl's shoulders and looks him in the eyes, "Promise you won't to be mad at me, no matter what". He nods.

"There is something i need to say" I announce to the room, turning in the direction of Negan and Rick. I burst into sweats. My heart pounds, and my hand began to feel shaky. Everyone looks at me confused.

"I'm Pregnant" I break down, falling to my knees. My face soaking wet by my streaming tears. "What?" all three of them say in unison. "Holy shit sweetheart, way to drop a bomb" he walks up to me, and throws his arms around my body picking me up and crushing his lips against mine. I struggle against him grasp, not wanting to rub our relationship in their faces. 

"Just another reason to call me daddy!" its truly amazing how he always finds ways to make jokes even at the most inappropriate times.


	27. Telling Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the pregnancy announcement.

"You're sleeping with him, Y/N ?" Carl shouts then looks to Rick for backup. "Yeah, but he's not as bad as-"  
"not as bad? He killed our people!" Rick jumps in, his face bright red and his fist clenched. "Come on Rick, that's in the past. We're family now!" Negan says with the biggest grin I have ever seen. I stand in front of him, "Can we at least try to get along, for the sake of the baby?" I look at Carl and my dad, my eyes pleading with them. "I can't with you!" Carl screams with tears flowing down his face. He stomps to the door and just as he opens it he turns back around "Have fun living your new life!" He slams the door causing Judith to also begin to cry. I go to pick her up but Rick stands in my way, "Don't touch my daughter, you're no longer welcomed here and you haven't been since what you did to Michonne" the tone of his voice scares me. My eyes swell up with tears, and I take a step back. Negan rushes over throwing his arms around me, "it's okay, sweetheart" he places his hand on my stomach "let's go, I can't have my pregnant wife being stressed out" he leans in and kisses me on the forehead. "I should have killed you while I had the chance," Rick says comforting Judith. Negan laughs "you should have" he gently holds my hand and leads me out the house and to the truck as I cry into his chest. He opens the door for me and helps me in. I look up to see Rick standing outside the gates, talking to the people on guard. He's probably telling them to kill us on sight if we ever come back. Negan starts the engine, then turns his head in my direction, "so how long have you knew?" his voice is low and sympathetic. "Since yesterday, I didn't know how to tell you" he smiles then begins to drive, as the trees past I can feel his eyes focused on me, but he doesn't say anything.  
~  
He walks me to the room, but he soon has to leave. "I have runs to go on today, so I'm gonna get someone to watch over you until I get back" I sit on the bed, avoiding eye contact with him. "I can take care of myself" he sighs and walks up to me, kneeling with his hands on my knees "I know, but you're carrying my child now, and I have to make sure that you're going to be alright," he says in almost a whisper. I lift my head looking him in his eyes. He places a hand on my cheek and brings my face to his, making our lips touch. His beard stubble tickles me, and our arms intertwine passionately as his hand slides up my inner thigh. I moan into his mouth and I can feel him smile. He stands up and blows me a kiss before he leaves. 

A few minutes later, I'm washing face in the sink, and I hear a knock on the door. I pat my face dry and walk over slowly wondering if this is the person Negan was supposed to send. When I crack open the door, I see a middle-aged woman holding a tray of food. "Hi, I'm Rebecca. Negan sent me" I nod and open the door wider letting her in. She comes in and places the food on the nightstand. "Congratulations on your pregnancy" she innocently smiles at me, 

"who else has he told"

she chuckles "everyone, he's definitely excited about it" I become short of breath, I never wanted everyone to know this soon because I didn't even know if I want to keep the baby, but I guess Negan made the decision for me. "Are you okay honey?" 

"Yeah, I just need to lay down for a minute" she steps towards me, and carefully guides me down. My eyelids become heavy, and the woman continues to speak, but I can't make out the words. I take one more look up, and my vision fades out.


	28. Gentle Negan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rebecca cares for the reader.

Negan POV:  
"Is the baby okay?," I ask, my heart pounding as I watch over her lying on the bed unconscious. "Her and the baby are fine she just needs to take it easy." Dr. Carson says as he finishes examining her. "Do you know how many weeks she is?" He pauses then looks back at her stomach "most likely between 5-7 weeks" I nod my head, then turn my attention to Rebecca, "has she been eating?", "No, sir, she passed out before she could" her voice is shaky, and she avoids eye contact. I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to show compassion. I like Rebecca, not in the way I like y/n but in a sisterly kind of way. She's maternal and cautious, she's the only one I trust to care for a wife and unborn child. "It's not your fault, you just need to keep a better eye on her" she relaxes and gives me a small smile.

"Also make sure she is taking her vitamins, she may be malnourished, which would explain her dizziness and lack of early pregnancy symptoms," Dr. Carson says as he packs up his medical bag. We both nod, and he walks out of the room. My worry returns to y/n, and I lean over and whisper into her ear, "I'm here angel, come on and wake up for daddy" then gently plant a kiss her on her forehead causing her to stir.

Y/N POV:  
I feel the soft mattress under my body as I begins to awaken. My eyes flicker open, and Negan is standing over my with a look of relief with Rebecca to the side of him smiling. He wastes no time to grasp my body, hugging me close. "How ya feeling baby?" His hand comb through my hair, putting each strand back in their rightful place. I stare into his eyes, trying to figure out what exactly is going on. The events of earlier are a blur, the last thing I remember is hitting the ground. "You passed out hun," he says bringing me up to date. My eyes begin to water, at the realization that the baby may have been harmed. Negan's excitement for our child was beginning to change my mind on getting rid of it. "What about the baby?" "They're okay, but I'm worried about you right now" I shift my body, resting against the headboard. "My head is throbbing" I croak in pain. "I can get you some painkillers," Rebecca says speaking from the background. "Yes please" I thank her and she leaves.

Negan walks over to the door and locks it. "What are you doing?" He says nothing but shoots me a seductive look before crawling into bed next to me. "Daddy wants to play with his kitten" he breathes inches from my face. "Sorry but your kitten has a headache"  
"It might make you feel better," he says trailing kisses down my neck. "What if Rebecca comes back"

"Who fucking cares, you're my wife" he smiles and lifts his shirt over his head. The sight of his toned muscles is enough to make my mouth water. "Promise to be gentle daddy?" I press my hand against him, playing with his chest hair "of course, anything for you".

Every kiss has a raw intensity - breathing fast, heart rates faster. Then before I know how it happened we are naked and our skin is moving softly together, like the finest of silk. I feel his hand enter from below moving fast, our tongues entwined in a kiss, and then he's inside, changing my breathing with every thrust, hearing my moans timed to his body. Then all at once he stops and kisses from my breasts to my stomach, his hands light; then he's licking and using his fingers all at once, watching my reaction, feeling how my legs move, watching my body writhe. He tells me he's going to make me beg for it and I just let out a moan, unable to articulate a response. In seconds, he's on me again, fucking me harder, just long enough to intoxicate my mind before stopping again. If it's begging he wants, he's going to have to stop long enough for my brain to start working again first...


	29. The Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is now 5 months into the readers pregnancy.

5 months later......

The newly crisp air pushes past my shoulders and through my hair, continuing over my large stomach. It expanded out to prove that another being resided within me. Two souls within one body. My back ached as my entire weight relied upon it. As I sit in the overgrown garden, I looked down at the stretched skin, with red and blue lines seeping across the sides. Once soft skin, now decorated with stripes. My heart bangs loudly against my chest, the tumbling wind tries to overpower all other noise.

The garden seemed a shade brighter than of lately. It was as if the gift of new life was being revealed to the world to show what was there all along, nature in her in humble brilliance. The buttercups became gold, the grass the shade of every dreamer's meadow, roots quenched, soil renewed.

I watch silently as the workers complete their daily task, waiting for Rebecca to return. She is like my Doula, she keeps track of my nutrition and does all things I used to be able to do before I was pregnant. Negan and the rest of the saviors still go on runs, collecting from the other communities. I've tried to talk to him about being fairer, so that one day we can have peace, but he insists that it's the only way he could take care of everyone. In a lot of ways he is the same but different.

"Are you ready for you're afternoon nap?" Rebecca approaches me holding her hand out. I look up at her, using my arm to block the sunlight. "I'm fine, I've been having bursts of energy lately" I grab her hand, and she helps me up. "We should get you inside before something bad happens" she says nervously. She has been paranoid ever since I passed out a couple of months back. "I'm tired of being trapped in there all day" I pout tugging on her arm like a child. "Do you want to walk around a bit then?"

"Yeah, can you take me to Dwight's room?" she looks at me confused, "Why? Negan said to keep you away from him" I sigh, "I know, but I need to talk to him". Negan let him out of his cell a few days ago. He was surprising forgiving but now he has to work for points. "Fine, but really quick" I smile and try to throw my arms around her but I only make it half-way because of my swollen tummy. "Thanks, Rebecca. I promise Negan won't hear anything about this"

~

She hesitantly knocks on the door waiting for a response. "What!" I hear Dwight's voice call through the door. "It's Rebecca and y/n" silence falls until the knob twist open. He stands with a blank look, his eyes shifting between us. "How it's going Dwighty" I force a smile and try to sound excited. "How do you think?" his expression turns bitter. Rebecca interferes warning him of his tone, "Negan wouldn't like you talking to her like that" he rolls his eyes and sends me a fake smile back, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset my royal highness and her obedient servant!".

"Whatever Dwight! You can't stay mad at me forever you know".

"Watch me!" he slams the door in our face causing the door to shake.

"I can see why Negan doesn't want him around you" she turns and shoots me the same concerned look she always does. I shake my head, "he's usually not like that, it's my fault honestly" I continue down the hallway, Rebecca catches up beside me. "May I ask why he's so angry with you" I stop to think before answering her. I don't know if telling her is the right thing to do, we have grown to trust each other but that doesn't mean that I want to spill all my secrets to her. "We used to be friends, until he kept getting jealous of Negan" I tell her half of the truth, telling her the full story would most likely end horrible for me.

~

She hands me a wooden platter as I am seated in the dining hall. There is a piece of warm bread with a slab of melting yellow butter and a thick, hearty slice of roasted chicken. I felt no need for pretentious manners, so I grab the meat, ripping a chunk off with my teeth. I eat the food like it is going out of style, crammed it in fast. The meal had taken about two hours to prepare and cook but is gone in a matter of minutes. "I'm getting so huge" I say ironically wiping the food off my face. Rebecca laughs and hands me a paper towel, "that's good, it means that the baby is healthy". I clean myself off and ball up the trash, "hopefully a healthy baby girl". 

"That would be cool, she would be like a real life princess!" 

I've always wanted to have a child, especially a little girl. I image how fun it would be a have a mini me. Negan unsurprisingly want a son, he says he wants someone he can train into a 'little serial killer'. If we weren't in the apocalypse right now, I would think he was insane but since the walkers have taken over being a killer is the only option. "You betcha!, Negan is already very protective, she would definitely be considered royalty" we both chuckle, and she takes the plate from in-front of me and returns it to the kitchen.

When she comes back she helps me stand, and we walk back to my room. "Can you help me get in the bath?" I ask her timidly. I'm not secure in my body but Negan isn't here, and i really need this after being in the garden earlier. "No problem, that's why I'm here". We both go into the bath room, and I take my shirt and bra off as she removes my shoes. She begins to run the water,and I continue getting undressed. The bath tub is old-fashioned but nice, it perfectly fits Negan's style, it is made of porcelain. It's clean but small dirt stains cover the outside. The warm water half-way fills the tub and is calling for me.

She guides me as I slide down into the tub, letting it engulf my lower body. I wish it would expand, so I could go swimming, like I used to on hot summer Saturdays with my father and Carl. She helps me lift my body up, taking careful notice not to put pressure on my aching back, and I begin to gently bathe myself. My mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calms me; it takes my mind off things. All the things I honestly don't care about. It's all about me.

I was in for a while when Negan walks into the steam filling the room, hanging Lucile by his side. "You ladies having hot shower sex without me?" Rebecca stands putting her arms behind her, like a solider in the military. "No sir, I was-" he interrupts her and squeezes her shoulder "Don't be so serious, I know my baby-mama is loyal" she flashes him a smile then quickly and quietly leaves. I find it weird that she is still nervous around him, considering she interacts with him every day now. Normally when Negan catches us in these awkward situation I try to explain things but the feel of the water is too relaxing. 

"Ya done yet?" 

"Yep" I stick my arms out, and he picks me up bridal style and lays me on the bed with water dripping from my body. He stands looking over me, licking his lips. "As much as I want to fucking devour you right now, there's something I need to talk to you about" I lift my head, his sudden change in attitude makes me more attentive. I can't completely read his emotions it's a mix of uncertainty and empathy.


	30. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected death arises.

I can't completely read his emotions it's a mix of uncertainty and empathy.

"I meet with your father today; he wants to see you" I sigh deeply and roll my eyes. "Why? So he can tell me how terrible of a daughter I am" he sits down next to me "it's serious, baby" his eyes show the type of concern that I rarely see from him. He lays his hand lightly on my thigh and instead of being soothed like I am usually, it frightens me. He leaves his hand there and speaks with such a soft voice, that his tone worries me more than the words he's saying.

"Who died?" I say looking up into his face. I've come to accept that it is only a matter of time until I lose the next person I love. Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides. "It's not my place to say, but I can take you to Alexandria if you want" I stand up without saying a word and walk to the closet. I quickly dress as Negan is on the bed watching.

~

Gazing straight ahead, only half-aware of a world outside the comfort of the car, Negan's hands stroking the wheel, the almost countless changing of direction, puts me into a hypnotic state.

We both step out of the car, seemingly slower than usual. All the tiny hairs covering my body stands up as we get closer to my family's house. Negan and I don't speak on our walk, I only glance at him a few times to try to see where his mind is at.

Our footsteps echo as we journey up the porch. He takes the initiative and modestly knocks on the door. My eyes shut as I mentally prepare for the worst. My breath catches in my throat when the door opens revealing my father. He is silent but motions us in. My feet feel so heavy that they drag as I cross the threshold.

The three of us enter the dining room, but none of us sit. I look into Rick's eyes, their dead and defeated, though he doesn't shed a tear. 

"Where's Carl?"

Negan instantaneously puts his face into his hands. My father approaches me, hugging me for the first time in so long "y/n.... he's gone" my heart skips a beat. And in a reactionary moment I push him back, "you're lying!" I scream, tears forming in my eyes causing my vision to become blurred. I feel two arms wrap around my waist and comforting lips kiss my neck. "He's telling the truth, sweetheart" Negan whispers. Sorrow starts like a tightening in my chest, as if the muscles are trying not to let another breath in, but instead to die. Then the breath comes, shallow, lungs unable to move much against the suddenly heavy ribs. My mind becomes static, thoughts making no sense, replays of old memories once forgotten. I grab onto a chair to support myself but before I know it I'm on the floor, limbs unwilling to work at all. Both Negan and Rick try to calm me, as all three of us are on the floor. My father pulls me into his arms, rocking me back forth and Negan brushes the hair out of my face, "we're gonna get through this, honey, Carl wouldn't want you to give up" I can't bring myself to speak. I cry as if my brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowing out of every pore.

Rick's eyes shift to Negan " let's get her to the couch". They team up to lift me, as my legs dangle in the air. My lungs finally feel relief when the back of my head touches the cushion. My hand ventures to my growing belly, when the baby begins kicking. My father stares at the movement. He hasn't seen me since I first told him I was pregnant. My tears slow down, and I can see his hand reaching towards me. " H-he's never gonna get to meet the baby" my voice cracks. "It's going to be okay, y/n, he loved both of you".

"How did it happen?" 

He wipes his eyes, "he got bit, saving Judith" a small smile forms on my face, thinking back to all the times he had saved me. "I'm so proud of him" 

"me too" he hugs me again as Negan stands and stares.

 

We mourn together as the hours past. Rick apologizes for being distant, and I apologize for not considering his feelings when making certain decisions. Negan mostly stays to the side and allows us our time alone. I never thought we would be in this position, with all three of us getting along. Negan even offers to create an alliance between the saviors and the Alexandrians. Rick was hesitant and said he'll think about it but I have hope that it will work out.

~

Later that night, we ride back to the Sanctuary. I sit in the passenger's seat, as I play with Carl's hat in my hands. Rick told me, that before he died he mentioned that he wanted my baby to have it.

"It's a new day sweetheart" my love suddenly begins to speak. I look up to him and force myself to smile. 

"Imagine what the saviors could be with the all those extra resources" his grin grows bigger, and he licks his lips, putting his warm hand onto my belly.

"Resources? Really? I don't care about resources, I just lost my brother" I turn away from him crossing my arms in-front of my chest. "Half brother, remember" his voice becomes cold. "What are you getting at?" The anger inside of me fights to take control. I know Negan has always had a malicious and calculated side but since I've been pregnant, it seemed as though that part of him was disappearing. "Nothing, pumpkin, calm down" he chuckles. I look back down into my lap and shake my head. I don't feel like arguing tonight, whatever is going through his mind, I don't care.


	31. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader gives birth.

4 months later.....

My labor continues and the pain is more intense than anything I could've ever imagined. Nothing could be more brutal, not whips or chains. Negan stands nervously beside me, and I grasp tightly at his hand.

"You're doing a good job, y/n, just a few more pushes" Dr. Carson coaches me, as the baby begins crowning. I scream at the top of my lungs, my tears drenching the hospital robe. My stomach tightens even harder, I hear my own scream without being aware of making it.

"One more push!" Dr. Carson says as he prepares himself to catch the baby. I let out one more gut-twisting scream, and straightaway my screams are replaced by someone else's. "Congratulations, It's a boy!" he hands me him, after wrapping him in a towel. I look into his new beautiful blue eyes, a new consciousness, a new perfect life-form. Negan hunches over me, and we both get lost in our sons eyes. Tiny fingers curl around my pinky. I watch the newborn peer through his sparkling eyes at what must be such a strange world after life in the womb. His legs kick in a tiny jagged motion, looking for that resistance they are used to but finding nothing but air. He stretches his hands, they barely rise above his head. I can tell that Negan wants to hold him, so I gently hand him over placing him in my husband's strong arms. The look on Negan's face tells that he a little apprehensive, he's afraid of hurting him.

"What a precious little mini-me" he leans in and kisses him on top of his head making him instantaneously stop crying. Laying against his chest his gaze remains focused on his daddy. "Negan Jr?" I whisper smiling up at him. Negan looks at me with a mix of surprise and excitement, "are you sure?"

"Of course, I love you and I want our son to be like you"

he chuckles and hands him back to me, "hopefully he's a bad-ass, like me too"

Negan Jr. smiles and it's as sweet as a summer strawberry and fills me with a sunshine I never knew existed in the world.

In that instant I knew I would do anything to protect him.


End file.
